Dear Texas Rangers, We Have a Suggestion

The Texas Rangers are Who We Thought They Were

Being a critic is easy. Every fan loves to be an armchair GM. It's easy for us to sit there and critique these men, many of them lifetime "baseball guys," who've seen more from an insider's view of a MLB organization than we will ever come close to sniffing. These GMs, backed by scouts, managers and assistants who have likewise watched players, at every level, from vantage points we have never been privy to and likely never will. So, perhaps it is unfair for us to sit here and criticize these individuals, while ignoring salaries, team payrolls and other considerations a GM must rightfully weigh. All that said, sometimes things just seem so simple.

So, our apologies if this statement is either ignorant and/or harsh. But, to the Texas Rangers, what the &^%! are you people doing??? Jon Hart, 30 year-old Jon Daniels (yes, he's the youngest GM in baseball), it really doesn't matter. Call me crazy, but hasn't the story been the same with the Texas Rangers for years and years? It's called PITCHING, and it's something the 'ole GM of this franchise may want to look into. As a season ticket holder for a National League ballclub since 2000, I've spent eight years looking at the out-of-town scoreboard. Eight years of seeing 10-8, 12-7, 8-6 and 9-4 scores pop up with frightening regularity next to TEX.

This weekend, I got to watch these Rangers play a three-game set against my often anemic 2008 New York Mets. The result? Two wins for the Metros. Eighteen runs surrendered by Texas pitching in three days. In other words, par for the course.

Win or lose, one thing is a veritable lock when it comes to Texas Rangers baseball. Lots of runs on both sides. Texas has boasted its share of sluggers over the past eight seasons, from Carlos Lee to Mark Texiera to, most recently, Josh Hamilton. Michael Young, Alfonso Soriano, Hank Blalock, A-Rod, Raffy, Pudge and Juan Gonzalez have also been a part of what were several vaunted lineups. Bats have never been hard to come by in Arlington.

On the other end of the spectrum, how about this list of team leaders in wins since 2000. Rick Helling, Helling, Kenny Rogers, John Thomson (13-14 in '03), Rogers, Rogers, Milwood and Milwood (10-14 in '07). Not exactly a murderer's row. Then of course there were those years where the most intimidating pitcher next to these superstars was Chan Ho Park. That is never good. This year, Vincente Padilla paces the staff with eight wins, followed by Milwood and (recently released) Sidney Ponson each with four.

So, back to that suggestion. Based at least in part on above, the Texas Rangers may want to start putting some of that free agent and trade consideration energy towards pitching. And for those looking to play the "small market" sympathy card on the Rangers, let's remember this is the same squad who shelled out $252M for Alex Rodriguez a little while back.

If the journey through the "aces" of the Rangers staff from 2000-2008 was too anecdotal, or maybe not strong enough "evidence" of an epidemic, here's another set of numbers Rangers personnel and management should review for a few hints on which direction to head:

2000 American League team pitching rank: LAST, team ERA of 5.52
2001: LAST, team ERA of 5.71, nearly a full run more than the next-to-last place Tigers (5.01)
2002: 12th! 5.15. Take that D-Rays and Royals!
2003: LAST, 5.67 (so much for that)
2004: What?? Did that say fifth in the AL? What do ya know, Texas just happened to finish 16 games over .500 that season.
2005: Back to 12th, beating out only the Devil Dogs and Royals.
2006: 9th, 4.60. Respectable. Kind of.
2007: Sliding back down to 11th.

Like I said, I'm no GM but does anyone else notice a pattern here? Maybe just a little bit? To add insult to injury, underachieving Edinson Volquez, who boasted a 3-11 record in three seasons in Arlington is likely the favorite to start the All-Star game for his new team -- the Cincinnati Reds. No big deal. It's not the Rangers could use an arm or two.

Turning around the Rangers requires drastic measures. Our idea? Next amateur draft go for a pitcher in round one. And then take another one in round two. Take a chance in round three on another hurler. Rinse and repeat until no more rounds exist. At least it would be a start.

The MLB Story of the Year Gets Its Due: Hamilton Hits SI Cover

Josh Hamilton dons the cover of this week's SI -- as damn well he should. Hamilton's journey, albeit well-documented, does not get old for anyone who appreciates those great stories that transcend sport and remind us of that which people are capable.

For right now, Josh Hamilton's story is one where the use of the word redemption is neither inappropriate, trite and/or irresponsible (as is too often the case). It's a story where the phrase "life or death," shockingly, does not take the form of throwaway cliche. His is a story where "down and out" truly is, or was. It's also a story that gets better with every home run, ribbie and sparkling play in the outfield.

I first remember reading about Hamilton four years ago in a St. Petersburg Times article, and being immediately captivated by the tale of a former #1 overall pick, then a tattooed Devil Ray, trying to fight his way back from crack, alcohol and a host of other demons for a chance at the bigs. Shortly thereafter, his story would hit USA Today and even the casual fan could barely avoid casting half an eye, and half their hope towards Josh Hamilton.

Last year, Josh started the 2007 season for the Cincinnati Reds and received a standing ovation on his first trip to the plate. He had come a long way for certain. He would play in 90 games for the Reds last season, hitting an impressive .292, along with 19 home runs and 47 RBIs.

In only 53 games in 2008, the now Texas Ranger leads the Majors with 58 RBIs. He's fourth in the AL in average at .324 and second in the AL in homers with 13. This week's SI story referred to him as "the natural," citing scouts who referenced Hamilton as they best they've seen. You can talk about Hamilton and Triple Crown without anyone giving pause to the notion.

If this was any other professional athlete, I might be seriously concerned about the famous SI cover jinx. But something tells me those mystical forces might be rendered fairly useless on Josh Hamilton.

Much like Andy Dufresne, Mr. Hamilton reached his spot on the Texas Rangers by crawling his way to freedom through five hundred yards of sh*t-smelling foulness I can't even imagine. Or maybe I just' don't want to...

But I'll tell you this. While it's hard to ever come out "clean" on the other side after seeing, doing and living the things he did, Josh Hamilton sure does looks spiffy on that SI Cover. And it's one cover we were pretty darn happy to see, too.

Best of luck the rest of the season 3-2.

Seriously, Richie? Am I Missing Something??

OK, had to get something up on this. Just watched this highlight from last night's Rangers/Mariners game over at Deadspin and, quite honestly, I am still trying to figure out if I'm completely missing something.

Briefly, I'm all for a good bench-clearing brawl. I don't want to see it disappear from the game. Hell, our tagline endorses such antics as old-school baseball. However, like hockey, there are unwritten rules.

I believe it's rule 43, section II, sub-section B that states "overpaid, whiny bitches shall not charge the mound on balls that are more than six inches from the inside portion of the plate." It goes on to further stipulate that "one will be subject to unrelenting ridicule on the InterWebs should said batter also throw his helmet at the opposing pitcher at any time during his charge to the mound."

Really, Richie? You're 6-8, 240. The ball was not even in the county of "inside." We're sorry you've K'd 36 times in 33 games and are hitting .209, but try to refrain from misdirecting your personal frustrations against opposing pitchers. Oh, yea, and throwing your helmet at a pitcher, particularly, when you have eight inches and fifty pounds on them, is a sissy move...you big baby.

Season's Beatings: Top Five Smackdowns

Please Just Make it Stop

(Photo: Washington Post)

I was at a wedding on Sunday when the following text message appeared on my phone screen: "Pats put up a 52-spot." First of all, "52" and "spot" don't exactly go together. In football blowout vocabulary, 30-spot is typical. A 40-spot feels within the realm of normal. But a 52-spot!? The frightening part? I wasn't at all surprised. In fact, it didn't even solicit a reaction. Earlier, he'd relayed the news that the Jets had fallen to the Bills at home 13-3. To that, I had exclaimed "3 f-in points!?"

It speaks to what we've come to expect this year from New England. Total and utter domination. Brady throwing up stupid stats. So, I'd expected 52-28. Maybe 52-20. But 52-7. 7?? That's a beatdown that elicits heated reactions.

A 52-7 defeat of a 4-2 NFL team is something you just don't see every day. Or every season. Or every decade. Which got us to thinking...over the past few months, we've had a number of notable beatings. So who takes the cake? Let us ponder.

#1 August 22, 2007

Texas Rangers 30

Baltimore Orioles 3

As Hardball Times declared at the time, "a blowout of historic proportions." There have been some brutal summer and fall embarrassments, but this O's loss is still mindblowing. Sure, 30 runs on 29 hits is impressive. Think it couldn't have been any worse? Consider the Rangers left 17 on base. C'mon Texas, you should have at least tacked another field goal on the board. Amateurs.

#2 October 13, 2007

Oklahoma St. 45

Nebraska 14

It's rare a single loss can be responsible for the ultimate ousting of both an AD and a head coach...even at a major D1 college football program. But it seems more than possible in Lincoln. For the first time in 20 games, the Cowboys beat Nebraska at home. And, "beat" is a kind term. Pummel, demolish, annihilate and humiliate might be more appropriate. Bonus points to the Huskers in that this loss followed a 41-6 shellacking at Missouri. Nothing shows a team's character like the ability to bounce back at home. Now, Osborne is back at the athletic helm and the Bill Callahan discussion revolves around taking bets on his replacement.

#3 September 8, 2007

Oklahoma 51

Miami (FL) 13

The caveats here are obvious. Young team. On the road. Norman, Oklahoma. Throw in the fact that the Sooners are proving themselves to be one of the elite teams in the country, and the 'Canes may deserve a little slack. That said, I remember thinking that the U had a chance to prove what kind of team they were by competing with a top 10 team on the road. They didn't.

#4 October 17, 2007

Boston Celtics 101

New York Knicks 61

Yes, it's just NBA preseason but admit it, you noticed. Preseason or any season dropping a game by 40 is special. The same adjective can likely be used to describe the coming season for the Knicks. Once again they have the look of a team poised to beat an elite team on the road once in awhile, string together a few wins and then come home only to get blasted by the Bobcats. I hope I'm wrong...

#5 October 29, 2007

New England Patriots 52

Washington Redskins 7

It's kinda scary when 52-7 comes in at fifth on this list, but the rationale is captured in the relative "surprise factor" here. Or, in this case, lack thereof. The superlatives associated with the 2007 New England Patriots are so frequent and repetitive that if I hear the phrase "another level" one more time I'm going to throw up. Regardless, one can't dispute the superiority of this team. And while I'm not going to add fuel to the Colts-Pats hype, it might not be a bad show. Can't wait for the Skins wrap and Colts preview from these guys.

Honorable Mentions: The complete 2007 seasons of the Dolphins, Rams, Jets, Iowa St. Cyclones, Ole Miss Rebels and...the perennial "winners" in this category , the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and Pittsburgh Pirates, turning the beating into an art form.

Editor's Note: On behalf of the dedicated members of Cylcone Fanatic, we would like to add the Notre Dame Fighting Irish to the honorable mention roll.