Isiah to be Paid $18M to Fetch Coffee for Walsh

Let Me Get This Straight...$18M to Do Nothing? I'm IN!

I know I promised to back off of Zeke once this whole soap opera season came to a close. But, c'mon, this organization makes it nearly impossible to keep quiet. And just when you think it can't possibly get any better - it does. With a HT to Mike and Mike in the Morning, we felt obliged to pass along this update on Zeke's new "role" with the New York Knickerbockers.

As you may have heard earlier, Isiah will report directly to Donnie Walsh. This was the first "detail" we heard about his position. Next, we were informed that Isiah, in this esteemed job, would have "no official title" but would provide "meaningful input" to Walsh.

Since those public comments a few days ago, Zeke's responsibilities have come into even clearer focus. In today's New York Daily News, Knicks beat writer Frank Isola reports that, according to a team source, "Thomas has been barred from having any contact with the team as part of his reassignment agreement with Knicks president Donnie Walsk."

OK, so let us recap.

1. Isiah Thomas is fired as coach but Walsh indicates he will remain with the organization due to his tremendous value and ability to contribute to the success of the team and franchise
2. It's revealed that Isiah will report directly to Donnie Walsh
3. Thomas will have "no official" title
4. Zeke is banned from having any contact with the team

So, here's our question? What exactly is Zeke going to do for the Knicks? Our guess, absolutely nothing. While we welcome that concept, some could argue Thomas is getting a pretty decent deal...and we thought Jerome James had a good thing going. Hang out at the Garden every day. Watch some basketball. Maybe occasionally go scout a few players. Oh yes, and of course provide "meaningful input" to Mr. Walsh. As in, "Mr. Walsh, we're out of Splenda, I'd recommend Sweet and Low or Equal as an alternate choice." Perhaps the best-paid secretary in employment history.

Ahhh, Zeke...

"Basketball Is Back in New York City, My Friends"

Nope, nothing has actually happened to this decade's version of the New York Knicks. Instead, those were the words uttered by a young Pat O'Brien back on June 18, 1985. A day when the Knicks locked up the right to draft Patrick Ewing, who was today inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame. In honor of #33 heading into the Hall, we look back at one of the great executive reactions in NBA lottery history.

I still have the tape of that night's events. See, I was a Knicks fan whose favorite college team was Georgetown. I sat with my mom, fingers crossed, hoping along with Dave DeBusschere that the Knicks would grab the #1 slot and draft the Hoyas legend and put him in blue-and-0range.

To this day, anyone who watched that event live remembers the near on-camera orgasm that DeBusschere had when David Stern revealed the Indiana Pacers who would have the #2 selection in the draft. And with one tremendous, stress-relieving release from DeBusschere, the New York Knicks franchise took a positive turn.




{Skip to 8:20 mark for the moment of climax}

Here's what transpired in the "Ewing Years":

1999-00	50	32	.610
1998-99	27	23	.540
1997-98	43	39	.524
1996-97	57	25	.695
1995-96	47	35	.573
1994-95	55	27	.671
1993-94	57	25	.695
1992-93	60	22	.732
1991-92	51	31	.622
1990-91	39	43	.476
1989-90	45	37	.549
1988-89	52	30	.634
1987-88	38	44	.463
1986-87	24	58	.293
1985-86	23	59	.280

And here's what's happened since:

2006-07	33	49	.402
2005-06	23	59	.280
2004-05	33	49	.402
2003-04	39	43	.476
2002-03	37	45	.451
2001-02	30	52	.366
2000-01	48	34	.585

Add another sub-25 win season and you've got yourself a heck of a decade. For Knicks fans, Ewing, 50-win seasons and playoff battles seem like eons ago. This is all that's left in its wake. Please help us, Donnie.

Isiah-Related Quote of the Year, Defiant Dolan Cares Not

You didn't think I'd leave this one alone, did ya? It's one thing to restrain oneself from waxing poetic about one former Mets player's issues with anal fissures, it's another thing entirely to go silent about a man who is single-handedly trying to stick it up the ass of New York Knicks fans.

Frank Isola, one of our favorite local Knicks beat reporters, reports in today's NY Daily News that the irrepressibly moronic James Dolan continues to put his faith behind Zeke as head coach in discussions with potential incoming GMs.

Unfortunately, we have neither the time nor the energy to further discuss this story at any length...which is actually fairly convenient as it's left us ostensibly speechless. Instead, we will only quickly pay heed to one of our favorite Zeke-related quotes from this season, a season that could blow any midday soap's best efforts out of the water.

From Isola's unnamed source:

"There isn't a basketball executive alive who would keep Isiah as head coach, but Jim is telling whoever he interviews, 'I would prefer to keep Isiah but you do what you have to do,'" said the source, who is close to Dolan, the Garden chairman. "If Isiah isn't the coach, Jim still wants him to stay in the organization in some capacity."

We love the first sentence. And with that we leave our readers with an age-old proverb. Mr. Dolan, this would be an accurate word to describe your actions as owner of this once-proud franchise.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

The LCG staff awards you no points and may g-d have mercy on your soul.

Knicks Show Great Progress Since November

I've gotten to the point where I can barely write about this stuff without laughing out loud. Actually, as I penned the headline to this post the only thing that came to mind is that such words could come out of Zeke's mouth today and none of us would be the least bit surprised...not even a trifle ...staggering. Anyway...in the midst of all this NCAA discussion, we picked up this morning's amNY (best free paper ever) on our way into the office and were greeted with this front page image.



Now, we've done more than our share of Isiah-bashing on this blog, so we don't necessarily need to repeat ourselves. Plus, nothing in today's story was entirely new or interesting. Here's what we are finding intriguing. Below is the cover of the Post from November 22 of this year -- approximately four months ago. On a complete side note, the artwork below still remains among our favorite NY Post photoshop jobs of all-time. Stunning stuff.



So, here's our question. What the h-e-double hockey sticks is going on here? It's been four months of this crap! Can someone freakin' pull the trigger already?! Is it Isiah's stunning 17-39 record in between these two headlines that's managed to keep the faith alive with Dolan? Maybe the all-out effort reflected in the team's impressive 1-8 start to the month of March? (granted, we're finally playing all the young kids). Oh wait, we've got it. It must be Zeke's renewed passion and enthusiasm on the bench?

Zeke and the Knicks: Where Amazing(-ly Awful) Happens

I apologize for those who frequent The Legend but couldn't care less about the NBA, let alone the New York Knicks. But, if you live in this town and pay attention to sports, not writing about this team is...well, it's like Eddy Curry being in a room with a box full of cupcakes...we simply can't resist.

Watching this team over the course of this season has been the equivalent of having a front-row seat to the most fantastic explosion imaginable, or watching the most ridiculous movie you've ever seen. One of those films that is so terrible that it's actually phenomenal. Classics like "The Replacements" come to mind, as does anything starring Keanu Reeves who himself is awesomely bad.

But, through it all, the most compelling part of the soap opera continues to be our main man Zeke. As previously related on this here blog, Zeke is a constant source of post-game entertainment via his unforgettable and mind-boggling press conferences. Last night was another classic example.

Following a pathetic effort from the opening whistle to the final horn last night in Dallas, Isiah answered random questions from the media. During the conversation, he dropped another classic apparently praising Eddy Curry's conditioning program this season. Marc Berman of the Post has an amusing recap of the "game" and the Curry conditioning exchange, after which one Knicks beat reporter incredulously blurted out "Really?" Zeke replied leaning on his trademark idiot logic: "I'm very comfortable with the weight he's played with and we're comfortable with the weight he's at." Stuff like this is nothing new for our feather-brained leader.

This would be another one of those AFLAC duck moments of dumfoundedness for me. What planet is Zeke living on? It immediately made me think of an interview I heard a few months back on ESPN Radio. The host had Bob Thornton on, a former Knicks player, now a scout with Seattle. Thornton was asked what he thought about Curry. Paraphrasing here, but he basically said that Curry could and should be a top five offensive post player in the League. The host asked him why we thought Curry wasn't there. Thornton replied that Curry is 25-30 lbs overweight. Point being, he's out-of-shape and can't run or jump. Something every Knicks fan who's watched a game this year could tell you in :30. Zeke is somehow missing it.

To top it all off, Zeke continues to stand - actually, mostly sit - on the sidelines idle. Silent. Stoic. Or, even worse, with that dumb half-smile expression on his face. You know what, Zeke? Cry on the bench. Throw a chair. Get tossed out of 10 straight games. Do something that indicates you have some sort of competitive bone in your body. Didn't you use to play on Pistons championship teams?! What the hell gives?

I can't take it anymore. Unfortunately, this team is a 12-car collision that I simply cannot peel my eyes away from...

Knicks Beatwriter Holds Back...Um, Not a Whole Lot Actually

I miss reading the local tabloid sports sections every morning. Back in the day, before the rigors of a day job got in the way, I used to lazily wake up at home and bask in the glory of a Dunkin' Donuts coffee and a stack of local papers. I read from back to front.

In our house, we had the Daily News, Post, Journal-News and Times...every day. Occasionally, Newsday would make the cut if there was a compelling enough Mets back page. Now, we yearn for the smudge of newsprint now predominantly replaced with the likes of our convenient, yet sometimes unfulfilling, Google reader filled with blogs.

What has caused us these reminiscent pangs of longing on this particular day? It's the realization that we're taking our beat writers for granted. Specifically, we're missing out on the memorable musings of New York Knicks who have the privelege of covering this walking catastrophe during a season the likes of which we've never witnessed before and may never again. And, while the Gestapo-like reign of Dolan and MSG is certainly a wear on Knicks beat reporters, it's good to see it's not completely holding back their voices.

Having been out of the office a few days, I was catching up on the goings-on with those ever-entertaining Knickerbockers courtesy of the New York Post's Marc Berman. Berman's Monday column focused on the recent whining of the ridiculous, fat, lazy waste of space that is Eddy Curry. But what I found most refreshing was some of the unapologetically honest, mildly-satirical and genuinely amusing drop-ins from Berman. My favorites below:

In describing the Knicks' state following Sunday's loss:

"Team Titanic II sank further into the abyss..."

Lamenting the reality that Curry and Randolph remain in Knicks uniforms post-trade deadline:

"Curry and Randolph, unfortunately still Knicks after the trade deadline, combined for 19 points on 6-of-24 shooting in an awful 115-92 loss at Air Canada Centre."

In describing Curry's defensive prowess against big man Andrea Bargnani:

"Bargnani all by himself outscored the Knicks' big-man tandem, hitting for 25 points on five 3-pointers, most of them over an unresponsive Curry."

Discussing Zach's effort against Toronto:

"Randolph was a disaster, going 2 of 13 for seven points."

As Berman astutely points out:

"It's only going to get uglier for the Knicks, who fell to 17-39 with 26 games left after losing their seventh straight in this arena."

Our popcorn's ready.

Jerome James is a Million-Dollar-a-Minute Man...Drink That In

You'd Be Smiling Too, If You Got Paid $6M to Do This

Jerome James is making more than a million bucks/minute this season. Don't ask us why we chose today to wallow in this miserable realization, just think about it. In all honesty, we were pondering compiling a definitive list of all those around the league collecting obscene paychecks for showing up in a suit and sitting on the bench. Being a Knicks fan, Jerome was the first one that came to mind...and we simply couldn't get beyond the numbers.

James' 2008 salary is $5,800,000 according to his profile at ESPN.com. If you delve a bit deeper into that impressive 07-08 resume, you'll see that our seven-foot proverbial waste of space has logged minutes in two of the Knickerbockers 52 games this season. How many minutes you might ask? A grand total of five. Five freakin', lousy-ass minutes. Five million eight-hundred thousand dollars.

We are admittedly poor at math. I like to consider myself more of a wordsmith. However, with the help of a handy-dandy calculator, we've managed to determine that equates to $1,160,000 per minute that the NY Knicks are paying for the services of one Jerome Keith James. Now, granted, salaries are astronomical across sports...and I remember reading the breakdown on dollars/start for Clemens or at-bat for A-Rod or even pitch for Santana.

But, somehow, the James figures above are just...well, we can't even comprehend them. Not that we hold anything against James. He stinks. And getting paid to sit around and watch NBA games from a courtside seat for nearly $6M/year ain't too bad a gig.

It is, though, just one more of the plethora of indications of why the Garden is such a forlorn place these days...Well, let's look at the bright side, according to the solid folks at Can't Stop the Bleeding (citing an SI source), at least Isiah's job is safe. So, we've got that going for us...which is nice [metaphorically hurling Knicks fan loyalty out window...]

MSG: Welcome to the World's Most Silent Arena

You Could Hear Crickets

The silence is deafening. For anyone who spent time in the Garden in the 90s, sitting through a New York Knicks game circa 2008 is a somewhat startling experience. We'll keep it simple. We've been to funerals that are louder.

Never mind the fact the Knickerbockers lost their sixth straight to the lowly Clippers after being up nine at the break. We'll choose to ignore the fact that Isiah's crew put up 34 points in the second half. Instead, we're still floored by the silence. Is there such a thing as less than zero energy in a building?

In an effort to put it into some sort of perspective, here are the top 15 "moments" that occurred at the Garden on Monday night. We'll take it in terms of increasing noise levels. Each of these scored higher on the decibel level than anything related to the Knicks on-court play (besides maybe the boos).

#15: A rather half-hearted series of boos at the announcement of Knicks head coach Isiah Thomas (even the Garden crowd's enthusiasm for Thomas-bashing seemed zapped)

#14: Some dude behind us sneezed.

#13: My buddy yelled "good effort, Fat Eddy" after Curry meekly waved at a Clipper driving to the hole. You could hear it from 20 rows away (seeing as nobody was in half the seats, sound traveled pretty well)

#12: The first routine from the Knicks City Dancers.

#11: The crowd cheering for the musical selection of "Umbrella" by Rhianna to be played during a timeout.

#10: The halftime talent show featuring three young girls who couldn't sing a lick.

#9: A between quarters race where two munchkins had to put on a pair of shorts, jersey and sneakers before hitting a layup.

#8: Knicks City Dancers second routine.

#7: Shot of Sean William Scott (a.k.a. Stiffler) shown on the jumbotron.

#6: Shot of Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Gray from Gray's Anatomy) shown on the jumbotron.

#5: A slightly more emphatic round of boos following a third quarter where the Knicks were outscored 28-14.

#4: Knicks City Dancers third routine, featuring the least clothing and most sexually-suggestive moves of the night.

#3: A fat guy carrying a sign with the numbers 18-1 written in black marker makes his way around the arena.

#2: A dancing duo of one individual who looked like Bushwick Bill and a 300-lb man in a Strahan jersey bustin' a move (they happened to have great rythym).

#1: Standing ovation for NY Giants Kevin Dockery, Sam Madison and R.W. McQuarters. Speaking of which, this must be R.W. McQuarters seventh trip to the Garden during the playoffs. Whereas the team's stars wouldn't be caught dead watching this team at the Garden, R.W. looks like a kid in a candy store. He reminds me of Rod Tidwell in Jerry Maguire. Can't get enough of the crowd. It's actually pretty amusing.

Anyway, none of the above is hyperbole. It's one of the more depressing developments I've had a chance to "witness" in professional sports. Something's gotta give. Doesn't it??

Wishing for the Day the Music Dies at NBA Arenas

Since When Did These Guys Become an NBA Arena Staple?

I don't want to hear Soulja Boy while my team is bringing the ball up the court. Techno beats are not necessary. Evanesence should not be played while a game is in progress (or probably ever for that matter). Leave the DJ spinning for the Knicks city dancers or other scantily-clad cheerleaders to dance around to during timeouts and halftime. But, for goodness sake already, somebody make the music die in NBA arenas.

This is my random weekend rant if you couldn't tell already. It's one of those things that's always been there but for some reason has only struck me of late. And now I can't get it out of my head. Whether you're in an NBA arena, or watching the action on TV, see how long you can count without hearing some brain-cluttering noise kicked in from the arena PA. It's absurd.

Now, granted we understand that teams are looking to fire up the fans, make their arenas loud and intimidating for opposing players and what-not. And, sure, it might be a little quiet when the speakers are turned off. But when did DJs become necessary in professional basketball? Would it be the worst thing ever for fans to hear the sounds of squeaking shoes? Maybe a coach barking out a play? Or, dare we say, some naturally-generated fan noise?

It's bad enough we are deemed dumb enough to need constant cues to chant "de-fense" or "charge!" every three minutes. But the good ole organ has a place in sports. But in between we now have to listen to 50 Cent and Paul Oakenfold? Don't get me wrong, I like the music. On my iPod. In my own ears.

Do you see this in football? Baseball? Hockey? We're OK with some Hells Bells before a big third down play at the Meadowlands. I'm even alright with the whole Final Countdown thing in the last few minutes of a tight game at the Garden. But this incessant, mind-numbing noise artificially pumped into NBA arenas has got to go.

And that's all I have to say about that. So, how's that for a random Saturday rant? Yes, we are entering that slow time in the world of sports. We're trying to battle through. Stick it out with us.

Zeke Press Conferences are Must-See TV

You know how sometimes you'll have those friends who are always watching that hot new TV series on Showtime or HBO and tell you: "just watch one episode...trust me?" And most of the time, because you respect their opinion, you take their word and give it a try. Usually, you're glad you did. It's in this general manner that I've been drawn into Entourage, Californication, Rescue Me and the like. Word-of-mouth is a powerful thing.

That's why we want to take this moment to provide our readers in the New York metropolitan area with a quick TV tip (our apologies to those from elsewhere around this fine nation who don't have regular access to our regional cable networks). If you have any interest in sports (and we assume you do if you're reading this), schedule some time to check out an upcoming post-game press conference with Isiah Thomas, head coach of the New York Knickerbockers.

Frankly, we think MSG Network is missing a blinding opportunity to market the hell out of these things - on their own. Forget the game. They should have stand-alone promos..."tune in at 9:30 p.m. for the next episode of 'Conversations with Zeke: A Journey into the Unknown.'" All we can say to the uninitiated...trust us. Pick a night when the Knicks are playing. If so inclined, check out the final few minutes of the on-court action. Then, as T.O. would say, get the popcorn ready.

Without fail, Isiah will mesmerize you with his soft, feminine almost-whispering voice...a strange and somewhat frightening permagrin...and at least one to 12 references that will leave you in complete jaw-dropping awe. Following Monday's loss to the Celtics, it was Thomas's reply to a reporter who asked why Eddy Curry's play so lacked in the first half compared to his effort in the second half. After a long, and extremely awkward pause (permagrin unaffected during this time), Zeke gave the following logical answer:

“He’s a nice man, he’s a gentleman,” Coach Isiah Thomas said. “In his mind, he’s got to find the balance between his physicality and being a gentleman.”

Like so many other occasions with Zeke, I was left both perpelexed and highly amused. Conversations with Zeke frequently bring about bouts of laughter. We highly recommend giving the show a try. The Knicks play again on Friday versus the Sixers. Do yourself a favor. Make an appointment to sit down with Zeke post-game. You will not be disappointed. Trust us.

Knicks - Marbury = Not Completely Terrible?

Just Stay Right There...For Another 44 Games or So

OK, a break from football for a moment and a trip to semi-serious sports commentary. If you've noticed, and judging by the ratings you haven't, the woeful Knicks have managed to string a few together and are threatening to...

Yes, they are threatening to do absolutely nothing. Ad-libbing from the words of Vince Vaughan in Wedding Crashers in his kitchen confession, let's not kid ourselves folks, this team is f-ed six ways to Sunday. That said, for we Knicks fans -- the few, the proud, the masochistic -- the last three games (all victories) have been interesting for several reasons.

For starters, some strange things have happened including Quentin Richardson hitting a jump shot, Renaldo Balkman getting re-inserted in the regular rotation with predictably strong results (Isiah, in his usual infinite wisdom, mentioned before last night's game how it was "good to have" Balkman back in the rotation. Uhhh, hey Zeke, you were the guy making him a DNP) and Lil' Nate making, dare we say, some reasonably intelligent decisions.

However, all that is not what's caught our attention. Instead, we're fixated on the Stephon Marbury factor. And by factor we mean that the Knicks seems to play like shit when he's on the court, but are tolerable (at least recently) with him on the bench...or even better...not in the arena. This much we know:

Knicks Record with Marbury: 8-16

Knicks Record without Marbury: 6-8

Now, not for nuthin', but we're pretty sure this is not simply a coincidence. Anyone who's watched the last few games would attest to the night-and-day manner in which the ball is moving around the perimeter and the Knicks are finding open shots. Now, granted, it's one thing to have the looks and another to hit them, but this team looks...well, a heckuva lot more like a team without Starbury on the court.

We're anxious to see how they come through an upcoming three-in-four-night stretch at Washington, Miami and then home against the Celtics on Martin Luther King. What we're not looking forward to? Seeing Marbury back on the court in a Knicks uniform anytime soon. Luckily for us, it seems Steph's ankle is willing to oblige.

Who Had the Bolts, G-Men, Knicks Parlay?

Not even gonna bother with a photo on this one. Wait a second is "this why they play the game?" Uh-huh, we think so.

We're trying to reconcile that one of the following three things happened on Sunday:


1. The New York Giants went into Dallas and won
2. The San Diego Chargers went into Indy and won (with Billy Volek leading the team's final scoring drive)
3. The New York Knicks beat the Detroit Pistons by 24


Now, yes, the Pistons were on the tail-end of a road trip...and I thought the Giants had a chance...but, seriously, what do you think the odds were on the above? Can you imagine if you'd placed a three team parlay on these games with the G-Men, Chargers and Knicks to win? Unfathomable...we need a few more minutes to get over this before writing about anything else tonight...let us collect our thoughts.

Uh-Oh, Football's Over (for us at least) Must Shift Gears Immediately

Knicks fans, please focus your attention on the ice. Please, for your own good.

If you are like us, then right now is a transitional period on your sports calendar. Except for a lucky few, your NFL teams are all focused on next year. The Browns need a defensive line, and the Jets need an offense? a complete makeover? a Mangenius Miracle? a competent draft (okay, we know that's not realistic), a player's strike?, a private army of bodyguards? The fans of 24 NFL teams are analyzing what their squad needs to do in the off season.

Instead of making a clean break to end the college football season with a power packed New Year's Day bowl marathon like the good old days, we were slowly and painfully weaned off the college game with a long week that ended with Monday night's deflating, terrible BCS Championship Game. And right about now, we're completely tired of hearing how the Big Ten and the BCS suck (points noted, can we move on now?).

Now is the perfect time to focus our energies on college hoops, the NBA, and the NHL. But what a challenge! Personally I'm jumping into all three seasons, but even if you're only getting into one of the three available seasons midstream, it's no easy task . In case you're as unprepared for this as we've been in the past, here's how we do it at The Legend. It's a quick and easy starting point and will save you from needless confusion.

What you need to do is take a glance at your chosen sports' standings or rankings. You're just perusing right now, we're not ready for in depth analysis. In the NBA, you might note, "Holy Crap! The Celtics are 29-4! Take note of any surprise division leaders like Portland or Orlando. Note some underachievers like Miami or Chicago (I'd throw the Clippers in there too, but they're the fricking Clippers, I'm never surprised to see them at the bottom of the standings. Snicker at the Clippers).

At this point, find your favorite team. Look at your team's record in it's last 10 games. Check its home and road records. Cecilio's Scribe would see that the Knickerbockers are 9-25 and 20.5 games back from the Division leader. Knicks fans might want to abandon any further investigation into the NBA right there. Get into college hoops or the NHL, trust me on this one (just to let you in on a little advance research, the Johnies, Rangers, and Islanders all look startlingly mediocre right now. This is still much much better than the Knicks). Ask CS about it.

After perusing the standings, you are now ready to put this information together with some information stored in your memory banks. Now you can come up with a conclusion or a question. For instance, the Celtics are 29-4. The Celtics added Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett to go along with Paul Pierce. These three must be dominating the crap out of the NBA right now. Or, wow, the Lakers are 23-11. Kobe Bryant wanted to get the hell out of dodge before the season. What in the blazes is going on there? My question is, when are the 18-18 LeBronaleers going to trade for a damned point guard?

If you repeat the process for your team, all of the the good teams, and the surprisingly lousy teams, you'll start to form your picture of the NBA season. Don't worry about the many mediocre teams and the crappy teams everyone knew were terrible, these teams won't matter. Note your conclusions and find answers to your questions, I think everyone can take it from there. These steps will work for both the NHL and college basketball if they are more your style.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to figure out what the implications of Portland sitting atop the Northwest Division at 21-13 without Greg Oden are.

**Editor's note, if you are jumping into the college hoops season, we strongly recommend checking the conference standings of your squad as well as the national polls.

It Has to Stop Now: Empty the Garden

I had no intention of posting anything tonight. My goal was to get home, sit on the couch and watch the Fiesta Bowl. Then, I made the mistake of checking out the Knicks during a commercial. And how can anyone who has ever been a fan of the New York Knicks not be compelled to say something after another mind-boggling awful performance...at home...against the putrid Sacramento Kings...sans three of their top players.

So, here it goes. Short. Simple. It has to stop. If Dolan isn't going to pull the trigger on Isiah, then something else has to happen. Seriously, this is one of the most storied franchises in sports putting out one of the most inept, uninspired and flat out lost team I've ever witnessed in any sport at any level. Chants of "Fire, Isiah!" aren't doing anything, nor will a calculated in-arena fan walkout or even an organized protest outside MSG (although I certainly applaud the effort).

People need to just stop showing up. Period. Don't come late and boo. Don't leave early as an act of feigned definace. Just stop going. Don't even walk through the gates. I know it's easy to say and there are tons of logical reasons that it can't work...but isn't it worth a try? What if those season ticket holders (for starters) just stopped showing up at the Garden. Don't sell your tickets online or give them to a broker. If you can afford seasons in the first place, chances are you're not too hard up. Put 'em in your pocket and envision your seats -- empty.

Imagine if little by little those folks could start leaving their precious seats unoccupied. What if those casual fans who go to a few games a year decided to keep their money in their pockets. In reality, it is the only thing we fans may be able to truly control. It's the age-old "vote with your wallet." C'mon, you can't even make the argument that whatever they're doing right now even qualifies as entertainment. 8-22. Blowout after blowout. Embarrasment after embarrassment. It's unfathomable that Isiah is still on the sideline. Empty the Garden. It could be our only hope.

Hey Bulls Fans, We Feel Your Pain. Want Curry Back?

For two of the nation's biggest markets, NBA basketball has become painful to watch. In a scenario that seemed far from likely only a few months ago, the Los Angeles Lakers are the lone member of the big three managing to hold their own.

Instead of a facing the fallout of a departed Kobe and potential "rebuilding," the Lake show is red-hot and the Kobe-Bynum marriage is the stuff of fairytale (at least for now).

Who would've thought at this point in the season that David Stern would be indebted to Kobe? Because, in the meantime, the marquee brands of the midwest and east regions are stinking up their respective joints. The Knicks and Bulls, two of the NBA's most storied franchises and among the largest potential revenue-generators based on fan bases, have managed to combine for 18 wins this season (one less than the Lakers).

And while the Knicks franchise debacle has been well-publicized by the NY press, the swift and less predictable demise of our midwestern brethren is perhaps even more gut-wrenching to fans (honestly, what self-respecting Knicks fan went into the season with Isiah at the helm and was thinking playoffs?).

So, in part to make our own NBA woes seem a little more palpable, we decided to take a walk inside the shoes of a Chicago Bulls fan in 2007. To understand their pain, one must consider the expectations nary a few months back. The following were predictions from an esteemed panel of ESPN experts back on October 30 when asked who would win the Central (the Bulls garnered 10 votes, Detroit followed with seven).

Henry Abbott, ESPN.com's TrueHoop: I think this could be Chicago's year in the East.

John Hollinger, ESPN.com: Young, talented and tenacious. Even without Kobe, the Bulls might be the class of the East.

Chris Palmer, ESPN Mag: Built similar to Detroit, the Bulls' superior tenacity and hunger finally makes them king of the Central once again.

Jalen Rose, ESPN: A team more geared for 82 games than Detroit. Deng's the most underrated player in the league.

David Thorpe, Scouts Inc.: Team should start off with more confidence than it had at this point last season, and the Bulls can still guard people. The rookies will deepen their bench, and Deng should emerge as one of the best players in the Central.

It hurts just to read it, and I'm a Knicks fan. Fast-forward to today and here's what the diehards are saying:

Blog a Bull: "Boylan, during a WSCR interview, indicated that Ben Gordon will be benched in favor of Chris Duhon. No word on the rest of the starting lineup, but I consider it indication to now give up on the season until Gordon's traded. Thanks, Bulls, for the heads up!"

Thank You Isiah: In a post entitled "How Long Until Spring Training," the folks at TYI offer the following:

"Kill me. Now...I mean, honestly! Are they serious???!!! You fire Skiles, talk about changing the rotation and then...start Duhon?!! If they think that'll help solve this team's problems, why didn't they give Skiles a 10-year extension? It was his bright idea to begin with. I ask you, what is the opposite of 'vision?'"

Yes, Bulls fans, we know of the difficulty in grasping a concept as amorphous as vision. Our fearless leader struggles with the notion as well. Believe it or not, we're not in any way trying to pile on at the expense of Bulls fans. Honestly, it's just that sometimes it feels good to know there are others who can empathize with one's situation. Bulls fans, we feel your pain. Only we face a slightly different dilemma. If we bench all the players who aren't showing up to the arena, we won't have enough players to field a starting five.

Here's to a happier New Year, although by that we mean 2009.

Mangenius Attempts to Set Onside Kick Record and Other Monday Observations

"Are You Sure? Herm Used to Say 'You Play to Win the Game'"

Welcome to Monday, all. Interesting weekend around the sports world. Here's our take with a little spice from the blogosphere.

Mangenius? We Beg to Differ

We NYJ faithful grew accustomed to the clock management "style" of Herm and the legendary Dick Curl. However, we weren't anticipating that same sense of utter bewilderment to accompany the Mangini era, at least in terms of game management decisions. Oh, we of little faith. Mangini and his staff set out to break the record for most onside kicks in the final minutes of a game against the Browns yesterday in New Jersey. Keyboard Quarterbacks blogger Mark La Monica shines more light on the mess at the Meadowlands. Congrats, Erie's Scribe. The Brownies may be heading to the playoffs (wait, did I just write that?).

Congrats, Anthony Smith. You're Now Known.

Unfortunately, for the Steelers d-back, he's now widely known as Anthony "Toast" Smith. The rarely used safety guaranteed a Pittsburgh win prior to this week's heavily-hyped Pats matchup and followed it up by guaranteeing a Pittsburgh loss with his on-field performance. Randy Moss and the rest of the Pats abused Smith who even fell victim to in-your-face trash talk compliments of a pretty boy quarterback. In addition to Brady rubbing it in, so has the rest of the blogosphere. Joey Porter's Pitt Bulls and Steelers Live have predictably choice words and advice for Smith.

You Know Your Franchise is Bad When...

If you filled in the blank with "is the subject of an ESPN Outside the Lines feature on futility," you'd be right. You would also know what it feels like to be a fan of the New York Knicks. Luckily, the Knicks serendipidously cooperated with the producers over at ESPN by dropping a squeaker to the Philadelphia 76ers 105-77 -- at home the night before the 20-minute segment ran on the network. Now, how's that for a tailor-made teaser?

An Hour Later, Tebow Wins the Heisman (or so we heard)

Tim Tebow won the Heisman on Saturday night. We weren't there to watch. While we have no problem with the selection, we could live without the 55-minute soap opera that prefaces the awarding of the trophy. We know the candidates. We know the resumes. If we must, let's do a "quick" summary, show the nervous nellies in their custom suits and then name the freakin' winner already. This should take 10 minutes, tops. And you wonder why the ratings keep going down.

Kyle Boller Throws Like a Girl

And, finally, the Ravens played the Colts last night. OK, "played" could be too generous a verb. It implies some sort of proactive effort on the part of Baltimore's squad. None was noted by this observer. After coming out like a pack of crazed dogs against the Pats, the Ravens took Sunday night off. On a side note, is it me or does Kyle Boller throw like a girl? Isn't this the guy who supposedly could throw it through the goalposts from 60 yards on his knees? Explain how that jives with a throwing motion that my sister could better? What's that? "Yes, this is Mr. Billick. The movers can come anytime after December 30."

That's all for now, folks. Talk soon.

I'm Staying Aliiiiive-iiiiivee-ahhh-a-iiiive....

Knicks win, Knicks win. In typical Thomas-era schizo fashion, the Knickerbockers followed up the Boston Massacre with three quarters of sludging their way through a river of sh*t...

...but then something happened in the fourth quarter and, for one night at least, the Knicks emerged clean on the other side. And much like Andy Dufresne, Isiah also escaped. He avoided the Reaper, or at least caused him to stay in a holding pattern.

Should the Knicks have performed in the fourth quarter as they had the previous three, I think today would have been announcement day. If the team had not managed to fight back, but would have fallen to the Bucks by double-digits at home following Thursday's embarrassment, I think Dolan would have pulled the trigger.

Instead, we get to see if the fact that this team has actually won three out of four should mean anything. Phoenix rolls into town tomorrow night.

P.S. Isn't it interesting how this whole comeback thing happened with Marbury in the locker room? Ain't that just the strangest coincidence?

Weekly Moment of Dumfoundedness: Knicks-Celtics Boston Massacre

This was the easiest selection we've had to date. Last night, the New York Knicks played the Boston Celtics in Boston. Below was the mind-boggling, silence-inducing but not-entirely suprising result...our weekly moment of dumbfoundedness.

104



59

NY-Area Papers Rally in Support of Isiah

Ahhhh, the joys of Thanksgiving. Today, we of the sports blogosphere thank the tabloids from our respective hometown cities across this fine nation. Growing up, we read you day-after-day. We formed an unspoken bond with our beat writers and considered reading "back-to-front" the widely-accepted norm. We prognosticated over your cover headlines and anticipated with great anxiousness your day-after-a-big-game breakdowns.

Today, back home in suburban NY , the Post and Daily News reminded this sports blogger of what makes these journalistic publications (and we use that phrase loosely) so damn entertaining -- the back cover.

This morning each area paper lends its thoughtful interpretation of the state of affairs of the struggling Knicks and Isiah Thomas. Newsday, befitting of a newspaper that comes closer to "real paper" status, chooses to go with a game image and appropriate headline.


(Newsday)

The Daily News gets a little more creative, choosing to bring in their illustrators to insert some humor. The headline that ran with the image below in hard copy simply decreed "Turkey Day" (wow, those back-cover copywriters sure are making their money!). James Dolan also gets some much deserved love.


(New York Daily News)

And, then finally, our dear friends at the highly-esteemed New York Post, putting the right perspective on this holiday of giving, chose to go with Isiah on the front and back cover. The back cover featured a fairly innocuos, and now increasingly tired, shot of a dejected-looking Thomas and the headline "Motown Meltdown."

Then, on the front cover, those crazy kids at the post went Photoshop on us! Displaying skills that would make any amateur blogger proud, we leave you with this. Never did I imagine the day when we would, literally, be able to see a turkey adorned with Isiah Thomas's noggin. Isn't technology grand?

Happy Thanksgiving. And Happy Turkey Day to you Isiah, wherever you are. Take comfort in knowing this city stands firmly behind you. At least you've got that to be thankful for...


(New York Post)

Isiah Thomas is Delusional: Thoughts on Post-Game Press Conference Word Selection

Can You Define Effort?

The mockery at the Garden continued last night. Rarely do I get a chance to truly drink in the experience of watching a full Knicks game. Last night, I came close. I got home from work in time to tune in from the second quarter through the final merciful whistle. And then, the proverbial cherry on top, the Isiah Thomas press conference.

Whereas there is plenty to directly criticize about the Knicks abysmal play during last night's 108-82 shellacking at the hands of the Golden St. Warriors, where the Knicks were generally putrid (as a stellar 29 turnovers can attest), as usual the magnetic force that is Isiah Thomas somehow manages to grab our attention . This time it's for his comments during the post-game press conference.

Thomas has already shown Knicks fans a penchant for painting things "rosy" with utter disregard for what may have happened on the court on a specific night. Last season, Thomas would typically address the media following embarrassing home losses with tidbits about all the players he thought performed well, thoughts on the team's "good energy level" and various spins on how the final score was somehow not indicative of the game's competitiveness. Last night was different.

Last night was different in the sense that Thomas did not spin his team's performance (well, not totally). He said they were bad and that the boos were "deserved." He said the team's play was "on him." One can take sides on that "on him" comment and the meaning of all that nonsense later, but here was my "Isiah is out-of-his-f-in-mind" moment last night. In what seemed like the most obvious question of the evening (outside of "how did you feel about the booing and "Fire Isiah" chants), a reporter asked point-blank: "What did you think about the team's effort tonight?"

Isiah's response: "I thought the effort was good..." Call this our moment of dumbfoundness for the week.

Good? Good? GOOD???!!! I was, literally, speechless. In fact, I still am. Hey, Isiah, can we chat about word selection for a second? Do you have trouble with adjectives? Here are just a few suggestions which may have been more appropriate to modify the noun "effort":

ABYSMAL

EMBARRASSING