Players and Teams Who Never Should Have Been

The Dream in Splendid Raptors Purple, But Of Course

Certain things just don't look right. Guys in skin-tight blue jeans. Crown Victoria sedans sitting on 26s. Carlos Beltran's hair.

The same can be said of athletes, particularly those who spent large portions of their career with one team and then put on a new and unfamiliar uniform. The phenomenon is exacerbated with big stars. In researching our previous post on the decline of starting pitching, we utilized the phenomenal resource that is the baseball almanac. It was there we were reminded that our beloved Doc Gooden, in addition to donning the pinstripes of the evil empire and sporting Chief Wahoo atop his noggin, played for the Astros and Devil Rays.

Wait, what? Yes, time seems to have contributed to memory erosion (OK, probably a little more than time along, but that is besides the point). During our life span of our sports fanaticism, there have been a few player moves we simply failed to ever come to peace with. These might not have been the last stop for these stars, or even their shortest stint, but something about seeing those players in those jerseys was simply irreconcilable.

For these folks, we've either truthfully forgotten, pretended to forget or are still actively seeking to eradicate their memory in certain duds. Our list has a slight slant toward a few of our favorite local teams. Don't hold it us against us. Hit us up with yours in the comments.

Patrick Ewing (Seattle Supersonics)
Whether fans care to admit it our not, Patrick Ewing is arguably the greatest Knicks of all-time. He was a pillar of a team that competed at the highest level for nearly a decade with the 7-ft Hoya in the middle. And while he earned his ticket to the Hall this year, the spectacle of #33 in Sonics green never felt right. Even Orlando wasn't as bothersome as Patrick was already on his way out and, besides, at least blue looked familiar on him. This did not...


Emmitt Smith (Arizona Cardinals)
Long before he was making us all dumber via his ESPN commentary, Emmitt was a pretty solid NFL running back. OK, like really, really solid. For 13 seasons, #22 was a fixture in the Cowboys backfield and formed that nasty triumvirate with Aikman and Irvin that football people can't seem to talk about enough. During his decade plus in Big D, Emmitt started at least 14 games every season and rushed for over 1,000 yards ten straight campaigns. Then he went out West and put on an Arizona Cardinals jersey. And it was just...weird.


Wayne Gretzky (St. Louis Blues)
The Great One made his name in Edmonton. He won cups. Hollywood seemed the perfect stop during the late 80s and early 90s. The best player in hockey makes the Kings relevant in L.A. Perfect. Even Gretzky's swan song in the Big Apple didn't feel all that funny (sure it helped that I was a Rangers fan). But one season wedged in between L.A. and NYC was a bit different than the others. "Ladies and Gentlemen! The Captain of your St. Louis Blues, Wayne...Gretzky!


Hakeem Olajuwon (Toronto Raptors)
Was it a Dream or did Hall-of-Famer Hakeem Olajuwon really end his 18-year career in Toronto after 17 seasons as a Houston Rocket? At least he wasn't sporting one of those vicious-looking dinosaurs across his chest.


Eric Dickerson (Atlanta Falcons)
There was Rams Dickerson and Colts Dickerson. When did this Atlanta Falcons Dickerson come about? Apparently the Falcons were trying to catch lightning in a bottle that had already drifted to sea, or, more likely, just some publicity. Unfortunately for them, Dickerson carried the rock all of 26 times for 91 yards before hanging up his cleats for good.


Brian Leetch (Boston Bruins)
Leetchy should have never left New York. He didn't want to go. We didn't want him to go. It's kind of like the whole Tom Glavine Atlanta thing but the other way around...or something. For some reason, #2's trek up to Toronto didn't bug us. Perhaps it's because they actually care a lot about hockey up there, so we figured it was probably pretty cool to play in front of those fans. But the Bruins? That was unacceptable.


Dominique Wilkins (Boston Celtics)
'Nique is a Hawk. He's the only thing good that ever happened to that franchise. He is the face of the organization. As far as I'm concerned, he never played in Los Angeles or San Antonio. And he certainly never suited up for the Celtics (/steadfastly refusing to acknowledge previously stated facts).


Randall Cunningham (Dallas Cowboys)
Here's another one that simply doesn't compute. Minnesota? OK. I remember that. It was a few years. It was exciting. Randall was still an Eagle in everyone's head, but the Vikings thing didn't seem totally bizarre. But heading to the Cowboys after 11 years in Philthadelphia? The former Eagle...to the dreaded Boys? Of course this was then followed by the logical final stop in Baltimore. Sure, Randall the Raven. Puh-leez.


Jerry Rice (Seattle Seahawks)
The best receiver in the history of the NFL. The most potent quarterback-to-wideout combo of all-time. Many would argue Jerry Rice is the best football player to ever step on the field, at any position. But if you would have asked a fan in the 80s and 90s which was more probable, they may have actually chosen the option that Rice would appear on an ABC reality show called "Dancing with the Stars" over the possibility of Rice ending his career in a Seattle Seahawks uniform. Luckily, we got to experience both (tongue embedded in cheek).


Michael Jordan (Washington Wizards)
I won't even pretend I wasn't fired up to see MJ lace them up again, no matter the team. I was. Everyone was. But it was not the same, and it probably wouldn't have mattered what the uni. Somehow, though, it looks even goofier on a poster. Jordan is in wearing RED on posters. He is flying, gliding, dunking...his tongue is out. He is not wearing long goofy white spandex and a knee brace, and he is definitely not passing the ball.

We know there are others that rocked your sports-crazed worlds at the time (and maybe still do). Which sight could you never come to grips with? Pete Rose with the Expos slightly before we were old enough to know that was weird comes to mind. Montana in Chiefs red (never bothered me that much, but I'm sure it was like nails on a chalkboard for the West Coast folk)? Bonds as a Ray. Whoops, getting ahead of ourselves. Who else?

Classic 80s/90s Sports Posters Vol VII: See Dick Run, Barkley Takes on Godzilla

Happy Friday, Legend revelers. We welcome any newbies who might be fresh to the blog from Hot Clicks link to yesterday's post. The Legend is staffed by two thirty-somethings who have plenty of opinions on sports, and its intersection with life and pop culture. Check out some recent creative musings from my partner in crime Erie's Scribe on Shooter McGavin and the strangeness of Leap Years to get a feel.

We also have a mini-tradition here of paying homage to classic 80s/90s sports posters on Fridays. So, without further preamble. From our readers...



Our thanks to Chris for this submissions. His thoughts on the Dickerson classic:

This hung on my walls for about 4 years. I never wised up to the fact that this guy loved the sidelines as much as life itself. I doubt that they'll ever put "See Dick Run" on a poster again. The Barbaro reference is nice. Enjoy.

Here's a second beauty from Filtering Craig:

It was a commercial. It was a shoe. It was a poster. It pitted everyone's favorite scary Japanese, fire-breathing, miniature-scale model terrorist lizard against ... ... Godzilla. Wait a minute, I mean against Charles Barkley. Cheesy jokes aside, I remember all this so well. I think I bought this poster in the mall at Spencers out of one of those racks that you spoke of. I also bought some of that crazy blue tacky stuff 'cause my mom wouldn't let me put pin holes in the walls. This poster was in rough shape because it kept falling off the wall because that tacky stuff would never last.



Click below to view prior editions of the Classic 80s-90s Sports Poster Series. We'll be back next Friday with another installment. As always, keep the entries coming to legendofcecilioguante@gmail.com. Give us your name, along with a brief write-up about the image and any blog/site you'd like us to plug (and keep it relatively clean, y'all).

Volume I: The Reign Man

Volume II: Chicago Vice

Volume III: Air Raid

Volume IV: The Icons

Volume V: Let's Go Buff-a-Lo

Volume VI: New York State of Mind

Beware the Bespectacled: An Ode to Rec Specs, the Four-Eyed Athlete and a Dying Breed

We consider ourselves so much more than mere 30-something bloggers. Our mission is to not just share our perspectives on sports but educate and enlighten a younger generation of fans.

In that spirit, today, we honor the bespectacled. Yes, all you young whipper-snappers out there. Long before the import of blogs and other modern wiz-bang technology, something as seemingly benign as poor eyesight was a bit more difficult to address. And athletes were no different than the rest of us.

Before fancy sport-specific contact lenses and lasic surgery became commonplace, athletes had to go a less sophisticated route to see the ball, pitch or pass...they had to go four-eyes -- whether that meant sport goggles, good-ole fashioned eyeglasses or the infamous Rec Specs (modeled above).

Sure, there are a few "modern-day" athletes who rock fancy-schmancy tinted shades that are more aerodynamic than a spaceship. We see and hear you Bo Outlaw, Kelvim Escobar, Jose Vizcaino and Eric Gagne. But this here blog post is for the few, the proud, and the bespectacled of whom we have the fondest personal memories...those who really brought it in the realm of spectacles. Newbies, read and learn. As one purveyor of t-shirts decried, always fear the Rec Specs.

Eric Dickerson

Dickerson was solid gold for the Rams in the mid-80s, setting records and breaking off long runs where he seemed to effortlessly accelerate past DBs. Oh yes, he is also arguably the greatest NFL player to ever don eyewear in game action. 2-9 had the yellow-bordered old-school Rec Specs and didn't care what anyone thought. He also could make the All Soul-Glo team should we ever decide to put it together. By the way, did anyone else forget that Dickerson went to the Raiders and then Atlanta before calling it quits?

Kent Tekulve

In addition to packing enormous lippers, Tekulve was a submarine-style relief pitcher for the Bucos and a teammate of Legend namesake Cecilio Guante. He also wore big, dark shades at all times -- including on the mound. Besides the money glasses, Tekulve was cool to watch because his knuckles scraped the mound on every delivery.

Antoine Carr

'Toine was nicknamed the Big Dog and played for 16 years in the NBA on 75 different teams. At one point, he could score in the post. However, as Wikipedia accurately relates, Carr was "known for the sunglass shades he wore onto the court." Wikipedia also lists his weight as 225, which is only about 100 lbs off...

Charlie Kerfeld

As a Mets fan in the mid-80s, this man actually caused me some measure of trepidation, particularly in the 1986 NLCS. Kerfeld was a 6'6 dude who came out of the pen and threw pretty hard. However, apparently Kerfeld didn't scare anyone much after that season. Check out the stat line. Following Kerfeld's 11-2 '86 season, he didn't log more than 40 innings in any other season and toiled in the minors for three years before briefly re-surfacing in 1990 and then retiring.

Horace Grant

"Ho" Grant, as we was affectionately known, racked up three rings with a small bit of assistance from his airness, before leaving Chicago for that new NBA franchise in Orlando. Grant hit the boards hard, played solid D and could knock down an open jumper from 15 ft. and in. And how about those awesome sport goggles! He reminds me of one of those Wayans brothers in that movie Blankman. Speaking of brothers, Ho had one named Harvey who also played in the NBA. He did not rock awesome protective eyewear like his brother. Therefore, he is not pictured here.

Kurt Rambis

Say bespectacled athlete and most folks may conjure up an image of Kurt Rambis. Rambis sported the Ricky Vaughan-style black framed glasses. Kurt was nasty on the boards and also sported a porn mustache throughout his career. He's now cleaned up and on the sidelines as an assistant coach for the Lake show. BO-ring.

Mookie Wilson

Mookie was one of my favorite Mets. He was a tasmanian devil on the base paths and watching him leg out a triple was a thing of beauty. For you young bucks, imagine Jose Reyes. It was kind of like that. A flash, a flying helmet and a cloud of dust. As anyone who has the 1986 Year to Remember video (I know you're out there), you'll recall that Mookie also went all Maverick with the aviator shades. "Did it break the glass? Did it break the glass? Oh g-d, it did..."

Perhaps the most memorable of them all was Chris Sabo. The former Reds third baseman came out of nowhere to win the Rookie of the Year in 1988 before going on to make the All-Star team on three different occasions. Through it all, Sabo unabashedly wore his trademark Rec Specs. Apparently, they were from Lens Crafters. Wherever he got them, they looked gooood.



We're undoubtedly missing a ton of legends. Leave us your fondest four-eyed athletes in the comments. And keep the memory alive...think about the children.