Can Someone Just Predict "I Have No F-In Idea?"

Random, but I'm completely sick of sports predictions and the rest of the world's apparent obsession with them. Can't we just all agree to watch the game and see what happens? Honestly, on YouTube there are literally hundreds of jackasses with their mugs pressed about half-inch from the Web cam yapping about their Super Bowl prognostications. Note to random YouTube predictor folks: nobody asked you. And outside of you nobody gives a flying f what you think.

Hell, I don't care what any of the paid analysts, ex-players, active players, bloggers, columnists or anyone else of supposed "authority" has to say, least of all you. OK, just had to get that out. Feel better now. On a bus to D.C. with little but my thoughts and a WiFi connection which is never a good thing. My fiancee has been dead asleep for approximately 99.9% of the ride which makes for compelling conversation. Luckily, my seat is right next to the rest room. Awesome.

Don't Look Now, But the Knicks are Watchable Again (Maybe?)

OK, I know better than to write this. I know much better. But I'm doing it anyway. For all you that haven't been paying attention, the New York Knickerbockers are threatening to become...watchable.

Following the joys of the Isiah era, I'd pretty much stopped tuning in to watch this team -- like ever. Admittedly, I abandoned them and promised to be back when they were relevant in a decade or so. When folks in the office sent around emails about Knicks tickets, I snickered at the very thought of attending a game in person.

Not that I'm heading out to the Garden anytime soon, but let's just say my allergies to Knickdome are starting to dissipate. Tonight, for the fourth or fifth time in the last few weeks, I found myself at home of the couch voluntarily switching to MSG to watch D'Antoni's crew. The crazy thing? I've actually enjoyed these experiences. Sure, part of it's coach's new run-and-gun gameplan, but it's more than that.

The team isn't supremely talented. There are no veterans of of particular consequence. Instead, it seems to be a bunch of young kids playing the game they love. What's a bit different is that they're playing hard - and they're no doubt enjoying D'Antoni's style. Tonight was another one of those games that was fun to watch. In the post-game, reporter after reporter asked about the little sparkplug who's been such a big part of the Knicks going 7-3 over their past 10. Coach couldn't help but smile and admit he's played a big role in recent success.

And why not smile ? Lil' Nate was huge again. One of my buddies can't stand Robinson. Hates him. Thinks he's an idiot, a clown and completely out of control. He's absolutely right on all fronts. Me? I love him. For some of those same reasons...and because he also brings a level of energy to the floor that is different than I'm used to seeing. Add his freakish athleticism, hustle and all the fun he seems to be having, and I can't help but have a little of that rub off on me as a fan.

So, what does it all mean? Are the Knicks going to the playoffs? Probably not. A run at 40 wins would be an accomplishment. All I know is things are looking up at least a little in Garden land. Enough so that I can even tolerate watching a game or two on TV. And that's saying something considering this franchise's recent past...

Could Sunday's Super Bowl Produce a Historic MVP? Dreads!

Our Leading Candidate
Photo: Getty Images

This week leading up to the Super Bowl is largely about hype. Nonsensical, useless, absolutely insignificant garbage that is somehow accepted as news because, well, it's the freakin' SUPER BOWL! Well, in keeping with this fine tradition, we decided to tackle one of the most gripping and compelling stories that seems to have somehow slipped through the cracks during Monday's media day.

Yes folks...this year's Super Bowl offers a real shot to be historic that nobody seems to be paying attention to...2009 could very well boast the first Super Bowl MVP in history ...to sport dreadlocks. Seriously. For real. We've done extensive research and determined none of the past 42 winners have donned anything close to "a hair style, esp. among Rastafarians, in which the hair is worn in long, ropelike locks." Nope, not one MVP rockin' dreads. However, it is also tradition that times must and always do change, my friend (bonus pts for movie reference).

So, has there ever been a more promising year in this regard? Let's look at our candidates and set some odds.

3-1
Larry Fitzgerald, Cardinals

Fitzgerald has established himself as the nastiest receiver in football. Anything Warner throws up, he brings down. On Sunday, he'll be the best offensive player on the field. And members of the offensive side of the ball often bring home the MVP trophy. If the Cardinals weren't underdogs, these odds would be crazy in favor of Fitz. Regardless, he is the by far the best shot.

6-1
Santonio Holmes, Steelers

Don't sleep on dreadlocked contestant #2. Holmes had 55 grabs in the regular season for about 15 yards a clip. With Hines Ward banged up and Limas Sweed having trouble holding onto sure touchdowns, Big Ben may look even more to Holmes. A 100-yard games and a few big plays could put Holmes in the mix with a Steelers win.

10-1
Edgerrin James, Cardinals
20-1
Tim Hightower, Cardinals

The locks flow aplenty in the Cardinals backfield, but their respective chances of taking home the Super Bowl MVP trophy for Rasta nation are significantly slimmer. Although James came on a bit of late, he would have to have an old-school Colts-like performance to snag the hardware. Plus, his dreads aren't what they used to be. Hightower on the other hand has awesome locks and found his way into the endzone 10 times this season. The problem is he averages about 3 yards a carry. Don't expect his other numbers to climb high enough to claim MVP.

So, that's how we see it. We will await Sunday's game with bated breath. The chance for a dreadlocked Super Bowl MVP may be the most compelling element of the game for us. Rise up!

By the way, there has to be a line of this somewhere, right? In some corner of the Interwebs some sick dude has allowed degenerates like us (OK, me) to wager on things of this nature. I would not be surprised...

Editor's Note: I decided to give a no-soup-for-you call on Polamalu. Don't think his 'do fits the technical definition. Only because I know someone will bring it up. Frightening, but true.

Pettite "Settles" for One Year, $5.5M

Read the following headline in AMNY on my way into the office this morning. I wouldn't mind "settling" for $5.5M to work for a year one of these days. These guys sure do have it rough.

Kerry Collins, Vince Young and the Weirdness of Sports

ESPN.com is reporting that Titans coach Jeff Fisher has indicated to Kerry Collins that he 36-year old will be back as Tennessee's starting quarterback for the 2009 seasons.

In and of itself, there is nothing surprising in this story. Collins helped lead the Titans to an NFL-best 13-3 mark and will now be heading to the Pro Bowl in place of Brett Favre. To think about making a quarterback switch after that kind of season would be, at the very least, unconventional.

But one needs to remember this is the Tennessee Titans, a team whose quarterback situation might be as defying of convention as there has been in quite some time. It is an illustration of why nothing can ever be taken for granted or assumed, particularly in sports.

First, let's take Collins. Although Kurt Warner may get more hype as a "back from the dead" story, folks tend to forget quickly about Kerry's own comeback. No one can argue Collins has not been a good to very good quarterback in the NFL at various times in his career. But you'd be hard pressed to find anyone back in 2006 who would've believed there were many (if any) decent seasons left in him.

Prior to being picked off the scrap heap by Tennessee, Collins spent the prior two seasons in the black hole that is Oakland, compiling a dismal 7-21 record as a starter before being exiled to Nashville. Shortly thereafter, he gave way to a young stud out of Texas who would aggressively snare the leadership mantle for the Titans relegating Collins to finish out his career holding the clipboard, ever the reliable safety blanket to be put into use only in the case of emergency.

The young Longhorn showstopper was, of course, Vince Young. Seeing teammates take to Young and veterans follow his lead was a sight to behold. Which makes it even harder to reconcile that only three seasons ago Young was named NFL Rookie of the Year. He was an AFC Pro Bowl selection. Vince Young was about as franchise as a franchise quarterback could get, no matter the flaws in his game. All harder to reconcile now, in 2009, where Young is an afterthought.

The third overall pick in the 2006 NFL Draft is a cautionary tale of what can happen when the spotlight burns too bright. Or maybe all those scouts were right. Perhaps time will tell. For now, the clipboard goes to him instead of the grizzled veteran that once looked on as #10 led fourth quarter comeback, after fourth quarter comeback.

Where Vince Young and Kerry Collins are today is light years away from where they stood back in 2006. Few could have foreseen the twists on their respective paths. Now, the only question is what awaits around the next bend.

RIP Kay Yow, We Salute You

Fighter, Legend, Role Model

We're not going to write the story of Kay Yow here. It will be told time and again over the coming days and weeks -- and with good reason. I don't follow women's college basketball, but through my work I've come to know and learn about Kay Yow. She waged a tremendous personal fight against cancer, adopted the broader campaign for cancer research with passion and relentless zeal and coached and shaped young women for 34 years at NC State. She's the fifth winningest coach in women's basketball history and a member of the basketball Hall of Fame. She's one of those rare figures whose legacy and impact on the game stretches far beyond the court.

RIP, Coach Yow.

Worst Floor Storming Ever?

Let's just say when you don't have a lot of practice with something, it can show. For those lagging behind on the hottest college hoops news, the fighting Highlanders of the New Jersey Institute of Technology won their first game in their last 52 tries last night by outlasting the feisty bulldogs of Bryant University Bulldogs.

After the victory, fans stormed the floor...sort of. Video compliments of NJ.com via Deadspin. The authority on all things college roundball - Storming the Floor - gives additional insight into the Highlanders and their current win streak.

So, back to said "storming" for a minute. We can't really fault fans for being a little excited, but it's kinda funny. Maybe we can establish a global criteria for storming the floor? I can imagine the discussion in the stands between these 10 dudes.

"Do you think we should do it?"

"I don't know, man. There's only like 10 of us. That's kinda lame."

"Dude, f it. Who knows the next time we'll win one. Let's gooooooooo...."

Some highlights from NJIT's first win

The New Sexy Rexy and Other Goings On

Does He Remind Anyone Else of Gary Busey?

"Short work weeks." Another oxymoron. A made up freakin' term that holds about as much water as the word of Bobby Petrino. F-in brutal week AGAIN. The fact that it's one day "shorter," only makes every damn day about four hours longer. Enough is enough already. Oh yea, and this whole wedding garbage doesn't help one iota.

Anyway, without time to rev the old creative engines we rely on the fabulous world of sports to provide from its voluminous bounty. Luckily, there's just enough weird crap going on and, as usual, witty folks are writing all about it on these super-duper Internet blogs. For you under-a-rock dwellers, catch up courtesy of some Web cronies:

Brian Bassett breaks down Rex Ryan's press conference and the fact he dropped more money sound bytes in two minutes than Mangina did in three years. Our take? Do we think Ryan's a bit of a dirtbag? Absolutely. Does he fit in New York? We're not sure. Were we scared as hell of his defenses? Absolutely. Bottom line? We're all for him turning the defense into blitz-happy killing machines. Count me in.

Deadspin shares tidbits from Mark McGwire's brother's new book. If brothers aren't for kicking you while you're down and shi&^ing on your already tarnished reputation, than what are they good for?

InGameNow has a solution for Starbury. Don't just leave the Knicks, leave the country. Olives and head tattoos for all!

Does anyone want to be #1 anymore? Anyone at all? And, please, no DUKE.

Orangemen faithful are flabbergasted Gregg Robinson has a new job just like you and me.

Buzzsaw. Fantastic. Why we still love Deadspin.

And, finally, I'm fired up about Obama. I really am, for real. But can we stop with the hoops stories already for goodness sakes! Yes, I get it, He plays ball. And??!!! This has to be the 150th major-major media outlet I've seen take this story and run with it like B-dog is a 13-time Olympian who used to dunk on Wilt the Stilt. Relax, people.

Until I get a few minutes...

My Newest Man Crush: Mike Tomlin

I Heart Mike Tomlin

OK, the title here is a bit of a lie. My crush isn't that new. It was love at first sound byte. As the Jets welcome a new head man into town, I still have Tomlin and his post-game presser from Sunday in my head. I've been on the Tomlin bandwagon since the day he replaced the chin as Stillers head man. Is anyone else totally into this guy - like in a what-more-could-you-want in a young coach kinda way?

There's something about the dude. Combination of old school discipline, respect for his players and the game and all business approach. I still can't put my finger on what makes him stand out, but it has something to do with a perception of humility.

A lot of tough-guy coaches come across as merely playing the part. Meaning the hardline approach seems a cover-up for other shortcomings and more about the coach's personal ego than any betterment of team. And while Tomlin's occasionally stereotypical rhetoric might lead you to an assumption of just another full-of-crap young newbie trying to yap his way to notoriety, I don't see it.

To me, Tomlin is the the quintessential head coach. Made his way up through the ranks. Taken pieces and learned lessons along the way. Adopted his role with respect, understanding and no sense of entitlement. And now he's going to the Super Bowl.

Let's just say we'll take Tomlin's first two years from Rex Ryan in a heartbeat.

Stump Mitchell, Neil Lomax and the Cards are Going to the Super Bowl!

These are the Cards I Remember

It's been a day. I'm still not connecting the dots. Not that there are any horrible repercussions associated with my realization of the Buzzsaw's victory. My mind just can't get beyond Stump Mitchell, Neil Lomax and the always-fabulous Vai Sikahema. Those football Cardinals have meaning to me in the context of the "Giants Again" NFL Films video that was in my den growing up (and for some reason watched 157 times growing up). Those are the Cards I remember. Watch Roy Green going deep down the middle.

But, sure, the Arizona Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl!

Conference Championship Memo: Receivers Should Watch for The(ir) Safety

Wide receivers are sometimes thought of us glamor boys. Showboats. Big contracts and even bigger mouths. Yet, when we sit to watch each Sunday there are few moments that cause us to shield our eyes from the violence of pro football more than seeing a receiver cross the middle while a defensive back locks the poor soul singularly in his sights.

This weekend there will likely be a few hits that cause us to cringe, while possibly gaining a bit more respect for those same pass catchers bearing the crushing blow. For this weekend, there are four of the most terrifying hitters in football all on the field. They may share the position of safety, but the word safety isn't one that comes to mind when opposing wideouts venture into their territory.

Troy Polamalu. Brian Dawkins. Ed Reed. Adrian Wilson. Think about that for a second. Nightmares for receivers. Some of the most intimidating defenders in football. All four got mention on my world-famous NFL All F-U Up Defensive Team this past fall -- which means you know they bad-as-hell. Oh yes, each has also been invited to that Pro Bowl thing for 2009.

So, all you wideouts running crossing routes this Sunday may want to keep you head on a swivel. Fans shouldn't be surprised to see cases of alligator arms increase from Arizona to the 'Burgh. Here's a brief reminder why:

Troy Polamalu
Pro Bowls: 5
Nickname: The Tasmanian Devil
Trademark: Long, flowing locks



Adrian Wilson
Pro Bowls: 2
Nickname: A-Dub
Trademark: Sick vertical




Brian Dawkins
Nickname: Weapon X
Pro Bowls: 7
Trademark: Faceshield



Ed Reed
Pro Bowls: 5 (2004 AP Defensive Player of the Year)
Nickname: The Godfather (according to me)
Trademark: Face shield, 100-yard (plus) interception returns



By the way, you could put highlights of eight-year olds making tackles in Pop Warner and set the video to Requiem for a Dream, and it would get me fired up. Best big hit montage music ever.

So, who'd be the one to make you most nervous about your personal safety, assuming, you know, you were an NFL receiver?

Shake and Bake: Mid-Week Video Timeout

What up y'all? Crazy week and going to need to round back with more original content. In the meantime, an oldie but goodie. Enjoy one of our favorite take-a-break-from-it-all videos courtesy of a very mediocre movie but phenomenal scene. Plus, it's loosely NASCAR-related so it makes sense for a sports blog. Speak to you soon...

Late 80s/Early 90s Sports Apparel Fashion Confessions

After retrieving (or should I say rescuing) my Andre Rison Falcons jersey from the archives a few weeks back (and having others share their gems), that nostalgic late 80s/early 90s vibe hath returned. Sports jerseys were fashion statements back then. This is true. It wasn't just me. And, yes, they were cool -- then. Believe it. Sure, some of our sports fashion apparel and accessories may seem the domain of complete tools now but how sick were all of us back in the day?

C'mon, you were there. Back in middle school or junior high. Chances are you played sports and hung with the "popular crowd." You dug the girls of 90210 and couldn't get enough of Damon Wayans as Homey the Clown. Will Smith was reigning as the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Bo Jackson and MJ were on your walls and you couldn't get enough Headbanger's Ball. OK, you maybe not all of those things applied to you. But, if a lot of them did, I wouldn't be surprised if sports was your whole life and it crept into your wardrobe in ways that are nearly unspeakable now.

Here are a handful of the "sports fashion" trends I remember from the late 80s and 90s around when I was old enough to be out of grade school but not old enough to drive a car. Not like I participated in any of these absurb marriages of sports and clothing or anything...

Sports Jerseys: Tirico Suave raised my Andre Rison Falcons a Brownies Testaverde.
Neither of those quite rivals a Ravens Vinny T (see Jan. 6 entry) on the random scale, but the point is the same regardless. As a teen, I thought the replica jersey - whether NHL, NFL, MLB or even NBA - was the tits. Nothing topped those threads in my closet. Bledsoe Pats, Colorado Buffs (nameless), Griffey Jr. Mariners, Saints white (my name...the worst), Jets (O'Brien), Rangers (Graves), Sharks (nameless), Magic (O'Neal), I need to stop, it's too painful to recall.

Awful Hats: We've been down this path before. It's a brutal, unsightly history that we'd rather not rehash. If you must read about it, take a walk with us down headwear memory (nightmare) lane. Warning: it's sure to bring back ghosts of your own early 90s horror stories. But back in the day, these lids were siiiick. At least that's what I keep telling myself...

"Starter Jackets": Mike from Steady Burn broke this down beautifully about a month back. If you are even pretending you don't remember, read up on this trend that I rocked in the form of a UNLV Runnin' Rebs model and (gasp!) a Dallas Cowboys crinkler.

Umbros: You know a garment is good when you the brand becomes a genre. These weren't shorts. They were Umbros. I don't know about y'all, but I had more than my fair share. The best (worst) were undoubtedly my two-tone models featuring one side of the short in one color and the other a completely contrasting hue. The split was right down the middle around the crotchal region. If I remember correctly, one side was royal blue and the other a fluorescent lime green. We also think we may have had one of these find three-toned, panel versions as well. Disastrous in retrospect...


Sweats w/ Team Name Down Pant Leg: These were terrible. Now, it feels like they're cool again in that retro-awful kinda way. I'd love to get my hands on a few of these again. The dark-colored sweats with the drawstring and the team name silk-screened in big-ass letters down the length of the pant leg. Loud, ugly and so cool I was pissed I didn't have a pair. I'm sure you recall.

Zubaz: I didn't own a pair of Zubaz. I swear. Cross my heart. But people did, and not just people that look like this dude. Normal, sane people. They thought these things were fashionable. While I'd love to incessantly mock, I do recall rocking pants called Skidz. They were just like Zubaz, perhaps even more offensive. They had obnoxious patterns, and I recall wearing them with brightly-colored Regardless, the company sold enough of these that it's a trend which cannot be dismissed. Head to the Meadowlands on any given Sunday and the evidence is there in shocking abundance.


Caricature Ts: As sucky as Zubaz were is as AWESOME as athlete caricature Ts were back in the day. Did I wear them into my teen years? So what if I did? These were real-life collector's items. Art in its finest form. T-shirts with a ridiculously proportioned head of some superstar along with each of their facial features magnified by 1000%. The Sports Hernia has a terrific series on these tremendous pieces of apparel. I rocked 'Nique with pride. I just had a harrowing thought. I wonder if they ever made a Sam Cassell caricature T. /shuddering at the notion

So, what else you got? Those of you born in the late 70s should be right there with me on this one. I mean, right...

Farewell Sonnet to Romeo Crennel

Romeo watching another inevitable Browns' loss

I was watching the end of the first half of the Cardinals/Falcons Wild Card game last weekend, and I was suddenly struck by something very odd that happened. During the last three minutes of the half, neither coach completely botched the clock management.

So there are still coaches in the National Football League who can competently manage the clock? Is Eric Man-Genius one of them (please say yes, please say yes)? I thought the art had been lost, but I now realize that my brain had become muddled by the painful, four-year Romeo Crennel/Phil Savage Era.

I knew that while LeBron's season has kept me smiling, the only course of action was to come to grips with the horrendous turd of a season the Browns laid. What better way to wash your hands of yet another failed Browns regime (one that managed to stick to the plot of giving its fanbase false hope before crushing its spirit), than with a farewell sonnet to Romeo Crennel? Despite his 24-40 record, Romeo seems like a good guy. So it gives me great pleasure to usher him out in a form The Bard wrote so well.


Romeo Romeo, farewell good sir

You managed the clock like a drunken boar.

Just last year the Browns were like beasts with fir

But, after four and twelve it's out the door.



You tantalized with a season of joy,

Only to spurn us more with your blank gaze

Who knew that your ten and six was so coy?

Letting the Browns compete as in a daze.


You won me with your gregarious charm

I overlooked your coaching faults for too long

Only had I known you would cause so much harm

Our Browns are once again a sad, sad song.


Now you leave us with emotional blight,

And only a Man-Genius to make us right.

Ummm, that was REALLY Awkward: Reilly & ESPN's 'Homecoming'

Reilly and Camera Make Creepy Couple

It's been a few hours, and I'm still trying to shake the awkward, uncomfortable, kinda creepy feeling I have lingering courtesy of the premiere of ESPN's 'Homecoming' show. Let's ignore the fact that my crazy social life has escalated to such a degree that ESPN2 was somehow front and center at 8 p.m. on a Friday night. Seriously, just put that aside.

Instead, let's focus on everything off about this thankfully short six-part series and its first installment. For those who had better things to do this evening, like say observe paint drying, clip one's nails, twiddle thumbs or the like, the only adjective that continues to come to me is awkward. And that's really not the half of it.

For a quick rundown of the "official" description of 'Homecoming,' check it from Awful Announcing to get a feel. Trust us, it was all it was cracked up to be -- and so much less. A full hour of a Reilly looking not at ease on television, surrounded by a whole gym full of Hamilton's "closest" friends including HS teammates, family, scouts and a whole bunch of other random people is a recipe for awful television. I think I also noticed the full band in their band outfits. Only they never played, or marched or did anything except look creepy in their sparkly outfits.

Hmmm...let's see what else irked us about this thing:

1. When I first read about the concept, I thought an hour for a show of this format sounded a bit long. I was wrong. It unbearably long. Excruciating, actually. At least a half-hour too lengthy if not more.

2. Jesus. The Lord. God. The Man Above. He was everywhere apparently, and the entire high school gymnasium was singing his praises constantly. The episode was a virtual sermon. At one point, I thought someone might come out with a collection basket or an 800-number might flash across the screen seeking donations. Hey, I couldn't be happier the guy got his life back in order - from religion or any other way - but is this an interview or an evangelical service?

3. I feel like I've heard this story somewhere before, aybout this Hamilton guy. Hmmm, was it on TV? The radio? Online? Oh yes, I recall now, it was everywhere! Don't get me wrong, amazing tale. Crazy. Heck, I even gave the story another run back in May of last year and it was crazy-old then. You could even tell Hamilton was like "really, Reilly? these same questions? couldn't you come up with anything new?"

4. Reilly is terrible. This show would have been strange and difficult to watch with someone like Costas, but it might have been tolerable. But for $17M, I guess you can't just have the guy banging out columns for the dot.com. That's not much better than, well, what I'm doing right now...

So, we get mistreated to the joy of seeing Reilly on the tube. The Rickster just seems to be trying way too hard, and his rapport with Hamilton is the complete opposite of natural. Plus, the camera kept panning so that Reilly's mug was dead center and way too close to the camera complete with a this goofy, forced permagrin for the episode's duration. I can't even explain it. I have no idea if the next episode will be as bad, but do me a favor. Tune it for at least a few minutes just to provide me the comfort that I'm not losing it.

5. Tour de Forced. If you watch (or watched) the program, everything seems incredibly forced. The "guest speakers" looking petrified with a mic in their hand and talking at Hamilton as if they'd been handed a script and were there to deliver it as quickly and devoid of motion as possible. The fake smiles. The half-laughs. Granted, the format is terrifically artificial and manufactured by design, but a lot of television programs are - but they don't feel that way on the air.

The only cool minute or two? When they handed the mic to Clay Counsil, the 70-something American Legion coach from Hamilton's hometown who he called upon to toss him pitches at last summer's Home Run Derby. Not only is that story awesome, but Counsil was funny, down-to-earth and cool.

Other than Clay, we found the hour of Reilly to feel like a lifetime of Reilly. Homecoming will not be returning to this abode that is for sure. Anyone else out there check it out? Thoughts?

Pavano, DeRosa, Romeo, 4-12, Phil Savage? Why I'm Still Easy Like Sunday Morning

The only way to keep E.S. smiling after the Browns' season

Hello Legend readers, a most cheery New Year to you from Erie's Scribe. Big props to Cecilio's Scribe for carrying the team (as he often does) while I spent the past 5 months on the DL with a serious case of getting in touch with my inner Louis Skolnick and Gilbert Lowell while training to become the next Perry Mason in Akron.


Since the last time I chewed the fat (virtually) at the Legend, the Indians dealt C.C. Sabathia and proceeded to screw with my head for the upcoming season by finishing quite strong in the 2nd half. Their 2nd half finish has me convinced that Fausto Carmona and Travis Hafner will return to form in 2009, and Kerry Wood will be dominant and injury free in the closer's role, Cliff Lee will repeat his out-of-nowhere Cy Young season, Johnny Peralta's complete lack of range will be a nonfactor, and the Tribe will be winning the World Series. Thanks a lot, Tribe, but I'm not letting you and your mind games get me down. Go ahead, sign Carl Pavano, sure it sounds bad on paper, but it has the potential of Pavano pitching well while being paid $1.5 million, thus driving Yankees fans berserk, and I'm all for that. Yes, getting Mark DeRosa to play third sounds like something the Pirates or Royals would do, but he's better than the incumbent (no need to mention the incumbent gentleman's name and defame him, his contributions are best left unremembered anyway), and.... well as I said, he's better than what they got. Still, the Tribe is not going to get me down.


More disturbing than the Tribe's shinanigans was the Browns disastrous season. Thank God the network schedulers thought the Browns were going to be good this year, so their putrid season was caught on national tv during the Browns' 180 primetime games they had on the schedule. But, I am not going to let it bother me. Normally after such a debacle of a season, I would be a smouldering mix of devastation and anger at this point. In fact, I think I'm going to have to write an entire blog post to describe the sad ending of the Romeo Crennel/Phil Savage Era. But, not even the Browns' utter ineptitude will get me down.


Why, you say? How can you keep your head up following such disappointment? Simply put, it's LeBron season. Nothing can get me down during LeBron season. And, to date, this is the best LeBron season ever. LeBron has a team around him now, and they're actually good. No more LeBron carrying the team to 45 or 50 wins, the Cavs are a legitimate team. Mo Williams is a damn good point guard. Delonte West has gone from merely being the most enjoyable goofy bastard in the NBA to being money at the shooting guard. Big Z is injured now, but speaking of lovable goofy bastards with mad skills, Big Z!!!! The Cavs offense has been so fluid this year that who cares if Ben Wallace does nothing on the offensive end? With the Cavs averaging over 100 per game, I'll gladly take Big Ben's 24.6 mins., 3.3 pts., 7.1 boards, and 1.8 blocks per game. Ben gives legit defensive intimidation and the occasional awesome afro sighting and I'm happy. Toss in Booby Gibson and Side Show Bob (who is some how draining mid-range jumpers this year) off the bench, and a promising rookie in J.J. Hickson, and the Cavs are a pleasure to watch this season. And that's with barely mentioning LeBron, and not mentioning Szerbs at all.

Watching every LeBron game from my pad in LeBron's hometown has been almost a religious experience for me. He might be a god. If he was playing Ray at the end of Ghostbusters, when Gozer the Destructor asks Ray if he is a god, he could have honestly answered yes. My first born son will either have the middle name LeBron, or Le something (i.e. LePhil, LeGeorge, LeFrank, LeThomas). And he's not going to New York. So suck it you ass-clown Knicks fans and enjoy watching D'Antoni ball for awhile. On the plus side it's entertaining, on the minus side it does not translate at all in the playoffs.

The answer to your question, CS, "the cavs are good. the question is…are the championship good? I’m not quite sure," is a big hell yeah. But it's not a question of if they will win the championship, it's how many championships will they win?

Zzzzz...Oh Wait, Thoughts on BCS Championship

Guess That's Over Now

To be honest, I'm getting old. Old, tired and maybe a little less inspired - at least by sports. Even when this game was tied in the fourth I had a hard time convincing my fiancee. "No, honey, it's not that boring. See, it's close!"

But, it wasn't...wasn't not boring...wasn't that close. There was a moment when her persistent bitching about Grey's Anatomy almost convinced me to just let her watch the damn thing. I didn't. But, regardless, I have no energy to really go on about the game. Florida won. Yippee. Other observations.

1. FOX is an abomination. So bad that Thom Brennaman actually became humorous in his horridness. Expectedly, Awful Announcing was right on top of it documenting every idiotic quote - and they were plentiful.

2. I don't mind Tebow, but the saliva-spewing, fist-pumping gyration episodes are starting to get a little played out. Looks like Linda Blair on steroids with holy-hypin' eye black. Spare me, Timmy.

3. Sam Bradford is a Heisman Trophy winner? He's one of the top QBs projected in the 2009 NFL Draft? Really???

4. I'm over the Gatorade dunk. Seriously. I had a Gatorade dunk t-shirt in grade school. It was super-cool and novel back when Parcells got it after the G-Men's 1987 Super Bowl win. Neat-o then. Lame-o now.

5. Percy Harvin is a stud. They should've given him the ball 20 more times. He's one of those guys (like Reggie Bush was) that you watch and, once they are in the open field, look like they're playing at a different speed. Exciting player. And what's with these skinny-looking dudes throwing up houses on a bar? 410 bench?

6. In reality, there were probably 25 future NFL guys on that field tonight. The only player who jumped out at me who I could envision playing Sundays now was Gresham. Guy has the pro look and is going to cause problems for defenses at the next level. Just got that impression. Who knows...

7. Other than that a whole lotta nothing standing out for me.

Maybe I missed something. Wake me up for this weekend's playoff games. Later.

GMAC Bowl Sets Attendance Record...Or Not

An Instant Classic for Sure

I'm done making fun of the ridiculous number and caliber of bowl games out there. Let's also leave aside the completely illogical sandwiching of the 2008 GMAC Bowl between the likes of Texas-OSU in Tuesday's Fiesta and Thursday's Sooners-Gators BCS National Championship game.

Instead, let's just let the crowd speak for itself. Did anyone have a chance to survey the stands? Seriously, there were 12 people in the stadium. OK, maybe a few hundred. Tops. Don't try to convince me otherwise, I've got a nice big TV with high-definition and ESPN was nice enough to provide lots of camera angles.

Can we stop making up bowl games and trying to make them legitimate events already people??!! Now, granted the combination of an absolute blowout, a second-half monsoon and the powerhouses of Ball St. and Tulsa playing in Mobile certainly isn't exactly the stars aligning in ole' GMAC's favor, but take a hint.

At one point, my fiancee claimed that she'd seen high school games with more folks in the stands. I responded by saying most of the high school games in a whole lot of places put more butts in seats.

Now, what does it say that I was actually voluntarily watching this game? You don't have to answer that. But, if you must know, I took the over -- and predictably lost. That's what you get for wagering on the GMAC Bowl. I am a moron.

Update: Some of the only visual evidence of fans at the GMAC, courtesy of With Leather. If you look realy closely behind the goalposts, I believe that's 1...2...whaddya think, 8? Plus those hordes along the sidelines, of course.

Guest Appearance at Waiting for Next Year

A Fine Blog for All Things Cleveland Sports

Good morning, all. One of the nice benefits of this whole blogging experience is meeting/connecting with some decent folks who similarly toil to capture their sports views and share them on the Interwebs.

Through a roundabout connection, one of those folks is Craig over at Waiting for Next Year, an outstanding blog penned by a group of frustrated Cleveland sports fans who've been holding out for a championship since...well, just about forever.

Anyway, with Mangenius squarely in the Brownies sights the folks at WFNY kindly invited yours truly to offer some observations about the recently-departed Jets head man. The post also includes insight from one of the guys I always turn to for the latest on Gang Green, Brian Bassett from the phenomenal The Jets Blog. Bassett's knowledge of the green-and-white in comparison to mine is something like Parcells to Herm.

Regardless, head over and give a read. It seems Mr. Bassett and I agree on at least a few things. Many thanks to WFNY for letting me opine.

Back in the Day: Livin' the Jersey Life

Check it. Admit it, you're jealous. I know. Isn't that one of the great things about heading home for the holidays once you've "grown up" and moved away? Those occasions where you find yourself digging through an old drawer and finding some love note you wrote to a chick in sixth grade, or that cut off t-shirt you wore under your high school jersey that you thought was so badass at the time but was actually quite awful in retrospect.

This latest trip home, though, uncovered a real treasure. As my mom bounded down the stairs from a jaunt to the attic with my fiancee to check out some old family relics, she held out a long-forgotten article and naively asked: "do you need this for anything?"

Not surprisingly, the answer was an emphatic, exuberant and unequivocal "yes!" Bad Moon Rison? Are you kidding me!? Of course, I have absolutely no realistic use for such a garment at this time, but it traveled back to New York City with me as my future wife shot me an incredulous look that was part how-old-are-you and part you've-got-to-be-f-in-kidding me.

To explain the cultural significance of the random jersey and its relative importance to my fashion repertoire in middle school/junior high was simply too great a task. How to explain that these were some of my most prized possesions? Was it even worth breaking down how in fifth grade I had a black turtleneck and a gold one each of which was used exclusively to color coordinate with my replica New Orleans Saints jersey? Should I break down the costs of the iron-on style letters/numbers versus the tackle twill? No, people simply mock what they do not understand.

My Rison jersey specifically did not score tremendous points on the random scale like some others. Instead, it was just money. I think I got it shortly after Andre arrived in Hotlanta. The most frightening fact is that it still almost fits, which speaks more to how absurdly I must have looked in said garment when I was a wee buck. Oh, if I only I had a picture. Others in my hallowed jersey history included a Pats Bledsoe jersey (no matter my love for the Jets and hatred for New England), said Saints jersey (I believe with my own last name...terrible), a nameless Colorado Buffs uni, an Adam Graves Rangers sweater, a SJ Sharks jersey, a Griffey Mariners model and, of course, Bad Moon himself.

So, what are the jersey skeletons (or stunners) in your old closets? Don't even front like you don't (or didn't) have them. Hit me up in the comments.

Offsetting Pass Interference Call? WTF?

Random side note. Watching the Fiesta Bowl and what was once unwatchable has become mildly intriguing. However, what's got me thinking now is the offsetting pass interference call they just dropped in the fourth quarter on the Buckeyes' two-point try. I don't think I've ever seen that call. Ever. Am I losing my marbles or was that an extremely unusual call? It's also a garbage call, regardless.

Back to the Grind, Gridiron Musings

Ed Reed, Man Among Boys

Greetings, loyal LCG readers. Hope everyone had a good break and holiday/New Year's celebrations. I'm feeling fat, more fatigued and slightly dumber than I did a few weeks ago.

Regardless, I'll be trying to get back into the swing again. For now, 10 shotgun-style observations from several days spent enjoying the bounty of pigskin that has been bestowed upon us.

1. Dreadlocks Win Games: I have to admit, if I had money to wager, the house would've been on Texas Tech. Uhhh, not so much. More impressive than the win? The number of dreadlocked players on the Rebels roster. Not since those University of South Florida squads from a few years back or Bad Boys II have I seen so many locks waving in the wind. Side note, irnoic timing on the whole Leach 60 Minutes thing, eh?

2. The Vikings Could Use a QB: From the department of redundancy department, how dangerous are the Vikings if they have someone who can play the QB position? AD is a beast even against constant 8-in-the-box schemes. Hey, Minnesota, you want this Favre guy? We're done with him.

3. Ed Reed is Good at Football: You come here for hard-hitting analysis and that's what you get. Seriously, though. How different is it to watch him make an interception and then attempt to return it? Countless d-backs in this League seem to be fighting themselves just to catch a ball and make a pick. Reed's grab yesterday against Pennington was one many receivers struggle to make and, afterwards, he just seemed to survey the field and identify the path to the endzone in a split second. Oh yes, and then gracefully maneuvred his way to said destination. Watching gifted athletes do their thing is one of the most entertaining aspects of sports, particularly for those who played at any level. There are few right now I enjoy watching as much as Ed Reed.

4. McNabb is My Enigma: I can't figure out if I think Donovan McNabb is a really, great underappreciated signal-caller or a completely pedestrian one. I've gone back and forth on this countless times for many, many years and I feel I'm no closer to the truth. Can someone help? Please??

5. You Could Kind of See the Utah Thing Coming: Still doesn't take a lot away from the job Nick Saban has done. That said, after that Florida loss the chance 'Bama would drop this one to the Utes seemed immensely plausible if not probable.

6. Stafford Should Stay: Easy for me to say, I know. But it just seems to make sense. No doubt he'll be a top pick and who knows maybe even #1 if he decides to come out for the 2009 Draft. But he seemed to mature and make some leaps this year, and I can't help but think he comes back to Athens in '09 and the Heisman, #1 status and another run at a National Championship are in the cards. Plus, you're the quarterback at Georgia. Trust us, buddy, stay as long as you can.

7. Darren Sproles Just Makes Me Angrier About the Jets Season: I like Darren Sproles. Here's the thing that pisses me off. Every time I watch him help his team win it gets me more irate about the coaching ineptitude of the Jets this past month. Leon Washington is no Sproles, but he ain't far off. I'm not yelling about this again, but jeez...

8. Sun Bowl: Each time I see that Pitt-Oregon St. score I just thank my lucky stars I did not indulge in that experience. Wow.

9. Mark Sanchez, Pro-Ready: Again, my scouting creds are non-existent, but boy did Mark Sanchez look like an NFL-ready quarterback. Sure, he's got weopans galore, and although Stafford's physical tools might be just as impressive, there's just something about the look of Sanchez in the pocket that you can see him an NFL uniform succeeding - and soon.

10. We're Coming Around On This Whole Playoffs Thing: I'm talking college, of course. While many of my friends have clamored for a playoff for ages, I've always been a bit more traditional and been content with working this thing out. My opinions are shifting. As the idea of bowl games and real tradition grow further apart from one another, I'm leaning more towards a post-season tourney. Plus, this stuff with USC looking unbeatable at the end of each season makes me even more curious. It's not happening, but I can no longer say I'd be at all opposed.