Anyone Else Feel Like the Sports World Has Inexplicably Turned Upside Down?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Wha-ha-happened?WTF, people? For ree-uhl?? Anyone else feel like the sports world has temporarily slid off its axis? Like someone transported you to an alternate universe and didn't bother to share the memo? Not following me? Try.
As I sat around tonight wondering what the hell to share on this here forum, it hit me that if you'd told me half the stuff going on in the sports world today a year ago...a month ago...or a week ago...I'd be at the least taken aback and at worst highly offended that you would insult me with such absurd fantasy. Here's my top five head scratchers for this fine Tuesday evening:
As I sat around tonight wondering what the hell to share on this here forum, it hit me that if you'd told me half the stuff going on in the sports world today a year ago...a month ago...or a week ago...I'd be at the least taken aback and at worst highly offended that you would insult me with such absurd fantasy. Here's my top five head scratchers for this fine Tuesday evening:
5. Bobby Bowden Will Not Be the Head Football Coach at Florida State: Sure, everyone saw this coming a few seasons ago. Inevitably, it had to happen. The man is 80 years old. Still, it's Bobby F-in Bowden! He patrols the sidelines for the Seminoles. He wears straw hats! He rocks shades! He is college football. That's the way it is. Daggone, don't tell me it ain't so!
4. Brett Favre the Viking May Play in the Super Bowl: Most folks have come to grips with this by now. For me, this past Sunday's Bears game on FOX was the first time I'd watched Favre live...in purple. It was weird enough seeing him suit up for Gang Green, but it at least was clear he was done at the end of last season. Finished. Washed up. Oh, even if he wanted to come back and do his song-and-dance (which we all knew he would), he could never come close to being an elite quarterback again. What's that you say? His team is 10-1, and he's an MVP candidate? He's got a 112.1 passer rating? Surely, you jest?
3. D'Antoni's Knicks Torch Suns: This is the look of a man whose team is putrid. Before tonight, 3-14 putrid. His was a team playing the Suns, who boasted the NBA's best mark at 14-3. The 2009 Knicks do not beat the 2009 Suns. They definitively do not beat them by 27 in a laugher. It doesn't happen. I'm sorry, I don't believe you.
2. Motown Philly Back Again for A.I.?: Allen Iverson has been offered a one-year deal by the Philadelphia 76ers. The year is 2009. It has been three years since A.I. was unceremoniously dismissed from Philly -- virtually escorted out of the city of Brotherly Love. He was shipped to Denver. Earlier this year he played for the Memphis Grizzlies before announcing his retirement. I was still trying to reconcile parts of the last two sentences, and, now, he may be coming back to the franchise where he was once an icon? Tell me when any of this starts making sense.
1. The Parade of Tiger Woods Alleged Mistresses Continues: Read that one again. Could you ever believe, no matter what's true or not, that somehow we'd be at this point, with this guy? That ranks far, far above all the others on the what-planet-did-I-just-land on scale. Promises of juicy text messages and voicemails are said to be poised to capture the world's attention tomorrow courtesy of US Magazine.
As Red once said, all I want is to be back where things make sense...somebody wake me when the world has re-aligned.
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