Norv Turner and Loser Face Disorder (LFD)

OK, so a few people are talking about Sunday's Broncos-Chargers game here and there. Instead of regurgitating their commentary, we're coming at this from a slightly different angle.

Yes, the Chargers were absolutely royally screwed yesterday. That's a given. What's also a given is that this ending should have been somewhat expected for fans of the Bolts, and quite honestly, football enthusiasts everywhere. As I watched the last-second events unfold, and glanced at the sidelines, the words of Tyler Durden echoed in my head: "I am Jack's complete lack of surprise."

Why, you ask? Two words. Norv Turner. Oh yes, and two more. Loser face.

For those who haven't been with us from the git-go, Loser Face is a little something we discussed back in the early days of The Legend in August of 2007 (see #1). Here's a brief clinical description of Loser Face Disorder (or LFD as it's more commonly referenced in the field):

"Loser Face Disorder is a a seemingly permanent facial expression that conveys a feeling of utter helplessness among head coaches of professional sports teams. Sufferers of LFD outwardly illustrate a sense that everything on the field, court or diamond is happening to them, and that they are utterly incapable of proactively affecting the results in any way whatsoever. Extreme cases of LFD are quite painful to watch, and those who carry the gene often find themselves at the mercy of the disorder for the entirety of their head coaching careers."

LCD is a terrible thing. It crosses lines of sport, gender and geographic and ethnic background. Unfortunately for Chargers fans, experts from around the globe who've researched the phenomenon that is Loser Face, unilaterally proclaim that Norv Turner is the classic case.

Sunday's outcome was gut-wrenching. It was unfair. It was inexcusable. But, in a sense, it was to be expected. The grips of LFD and its implications for all those surrounding the victims are excruciatingly. However, San Diego Chargers fans are not the only ones to endure a head coach with LFD.

Personally, I recall the 2003 and 2004 seasons for my beloved New York Mets with LFD manager Art Howe. As Wikiepedia astutely asserts, Howe's stint at the helm in New York proved "highly unsuccessful." During that time, Mets fans like me became quite accustomed to Loser Face as Howe stood dumbfounded in the dugout as bad things continued to befall his troops. Howe was clearly unequipped to stop it. It was agonizing. While Willie Randolph was no braintrust, his lack of Loser Face at least made things slightly more palatable during another more recent period of Mets mediocrity (of course, Willie really didn't bely anything on his expressionless mug, but that's a topic for another day).

Loser Face seems to have crept in with others as well. Herm Edwards is another likely case. I witnessed some of the early warning signs during his tenure in the Big Apple. Does your team have a coach whose countenance permanently screams sheer helplessness? Step forward and express your frustrations. Only through acceptance can the healing begin.

posted at 12:47 PM