The Most Inexplicable Headline Imaginable

Departing Following Disaster, A Familiar Site for Mets Fans

I've been pretty quiet about this for awhile. I realize nobody likes those blogs where people just go off and rant about their hometown teams in unintelligible prose ad nauseam. Just please accept our apologies on this one occasion. Our beef? Aaron F-in Heilman.

For fans who watch this franchise day in and day out, little else needs to be said. Today, however, has pushed me to and over the edge. More specifically, five words are drawing my ire. Five words that accompanied a headline of a story on Mets.com.

"Heilman still has Mets' confidence"

Heilman. Still. Has. Mets'. Confidence.

Give me a second. Breathe, breathe. Wow. Umm, just another minute now if it's cool. OK, thanks. I'm sorry, when you say "Heilman," are you talking about Aaron? Is there some sort of typo here ,or perhaps a friendly misunderstanding? Because, if not, the Mets have officially lost their f*in minds. Aaron "Batting Practice" Heilman? Aaron "Opposite-of-Clutch" Heilman? Aaron "The Face of Lack of Intensity" Heilman? That Aaron Heilman. That guy needs to get cut. Banished. Exiled. Deported.

Stepping back into partial reality land for a fleeting moment, I understand the need to "defend" your players. It is logical in most instances to publicly stand by them, if not for the players themselves but simply to play the media just so. But here's the issue I've got with Manuel and Minaya rushing to Heilman's aid and claiming he's fine and "will come around" and "throwing well" and all that good stuff. I think they actually believe the sh*t coming out of their mouths. No, really. I think they honestly do.

Apparently, Mets management has failed to receive the memo. Aaron Heilman is a loser. LOU-OOOO-SER. You do not need decades of big league managerial experience or a career in advanced scouting to figure this out. He has a good arm and nice stuff, but he doesn't know how to win. Period. Despite this story, a career 4.17 ERA does not a "dependable" reliever make. It's even more unacceptable (I don't even think that's grammar right there) when your principle job has been to shut the door in the eighth, or more recently ninth, inning.

Heilman is now sporting a 2-7 record and a hefty 5.74 ERA. To add to his compelling case of massive suckiness, Heilman has served up 9 home runs in 64 innings. Every single one of them being a three-run job with the Mets ahead in the eighth inning or later. OK, I completely made that up but it sure as hell feels that way. Here are a few of the gems Mr. Heilman has managed to compile over his last 10 appearances alone.

10 Game Log DATE OPP RESULT IP H R ER HR BB SO GB TBF #Pit HBP Dec. Rel. ERA 8/11 PIT L 5-7 0.1 2 3 3 0 1 1 1 5 23 1 L(2-7) BlSv 5.74 8/9 FLA W 8-6 1.0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 4 18 0 -- Sv(2) 5.34 8/8 FLA W 3-0 2.0 0 0 0 0 0 3 2 6 21 0 -- Sv(1) 5.43 8/7 SD W 5-3 0.2 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 2 6 0 W(2-6) -- 5.61 8/5 SD W 6-5 0.1 2 3 3 1 1 0 1 4 19 0 -- -- 5.67 8/2 @HOU L 4-5 0.0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 2 9 0 L(1-6) -- 5.25 8/1 @HOU L 3-7 1.1 4 4 4 1 1 1 2 9 27 0 L(1-5) -- 5.10 7/29 @FLA W 4-1 2.0 1 0 0 0 2 4 2 9 37 0 -- H 4.60 7/26 STL L 8-10 3.0 6 2 2 1 0 4 2 15 57 0 L(1-4) -- 4.76 7/25 STL W 7-2 0.2 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 2 13 0 -- Pretty impressive sh*t, huh? The more comforting part for Mets fans is that last year Aaron managed a 3.04 ERA while bringing home $450,000. This year, with a contract that pays him over 1.2M, he can't seem to avoid the sweet spot of every batter who comes up late in a game with a few men on. OK, that's it. We've gone on longer than we'd intended. Bottom line: this is a first-round draft pick getting paid good money to (at this point in his career) bridge to your closer (or often even less). He can't get it done. Enough is enough. He needs to go. So, please....no more "Heilman Has Mets Confidence" headlines. Instead, how about no more Heilman at all. Isn't it about time?