Somebody Make Chris Berman Stop

I wrote about this in the context of the 2008 NFL Draft earlier this year.

"This" of course refers to the level of intolerability (yes, I've made up a word) of Chris Berman's commentary on damn near everything these days.

Berman has become an annoying caricature of himself. Whereas his nicknames and catch phrases were once a witty and somewhat innovative trademark, they are now a tired act and a constant crutch that he inevitably leans upon more and more heavily with each TV appearance.

Last night's Home Run Derby was the perfect scenario for modern-day Boomer. Nationally-televised. Full of incredibly unnecessary hype. Devoid of the need for anyone with a semblance of analytical abilities. Oh yes, and he got to do that "back, back, back...gone" thing 500 times (excuse me...just threw up in my mouth...just a little bit).

In typical Berman fashion, the commentary played to the dumbed-down viewer of the Home Run Derby. Unfortunately, I can't quite make complete fun of those who tuned in to "the event," because I clearly watched enough to get all riled up over Berman's bumbling.

My favorite series of Boomer diarahhea was following one of Hamilton's majestic dingers in which he began to try to connect the display of home run power to the epic lore of Yankee Stadium. I can't remember the exact sequence or words of the series but he started talking about..."in the house that Ruth built...in the Stadium where Reggie...where Mickey Mantle once hit one into the lights..." Except it went on. And on. And on. You know it's absurdly annoying when my fiancee (who had her eyes buried in yet another wedding magazine) exclaimed "shut up, enough already, we get it."

Well said, dear. Well said. Can we retire Berman already? Who exactly does still find his schtick in any way appealing? If you're out there, please step forward and identify yourselves.