The Week that Was in the Blogosphere: Racing on Heroin, Pulling Our Pringle, Cartman Calls Out Belichick and More

Many weeks, the blogosphere provides nothing but useless drivel. Garbage news that we're ashamed to contribute to or even acknowledge that we've read. And other weeks that garbage news is freakin' awesome. This would be one of those weeks. If you were away (or working or something), here's what you missed.


This is Lauren Conrad. She is on a show called The Hills. We have never seen the show but think she is pretty. She also knows virtually nothing about hockey. Which would not be strange aside from the fact that she is blogging the playoffs for the NHL, as Awful Announcing astutely points out.


This is Aaron Fike. Aaron drove a car on the NASCAR circuit - on heroin! Ever drove a car at 200 miles/hour with vehicless surrounding you at every angle. Every drove a car at 200 miles/hour with vehicles surrounding you at every angle - on heroin? Can't Stop the Bleeding says what most people are probably be thinking upon hearing this story.



As you know, we love Eric Cartman, from his philosophy on gingers, to his introductions of the Colorado Buffaloes starting lineups. You Been Blinded reveals Cartman's latest sports-related commentary -- applying life lessons on cheating borrowed from Pats Coach Bill Beeel-a-cheek. Phenonemal stuff.

Want a modern case study on crisis communications in the digital age? How 'bout Stanley Pringle? A few weeks ago, nobody knew his name, let alone his face. Now, he's everywhere. The creative stars at Tirico Suave conceptualized the fine poster above. If you're just catching up...Pringle is accused of shaking his Pringles can in the library while looking at an attractive lady. However, With Leather has cleared up some of the confusion with updated news that Stanley was simply selling hand lotion on behalf of the Nittany Lions hoops squad. See folks? Quit jumping to conclusions.


And, finally, our man crush on Chris Cooley continues to grow. Cooley, who has become somewhat of an Internet legend-type by donning the short shorts at two-a-days and other such things, is now blogging. Now, most athlete blogs are boring and dripping with political correctness and guarded commentary likely screened by a bunch of publicists, agents, etc. If early indications hold, Cooley's blog could be an exception to the rule. In one of his early posts, he answers 20 reader questions including: “Who would win in a tag team match between Chris and Christy and Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson?” Christy is Cooley's wife (pictured above). Cooley's answer?

“The tag team match would start off with Christy and Jessica in the ring. Someone would come out of the stands with a cooler of beer and a couple of stools for Tony and I. We would proceed to sit ringside and high-five while clothes were furiously ripped off. In my world the match would end in Jes tapping out to a vicious choke hold, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Christy dropped an elbow on her before she poured beer all over herself to celebrate.”

With that, a pleasant weekend to y'all. Sweet dreams