Steelers' Roethlisberger To Come Out Of Closet Today
Brave Ben and friendA source close to the Pittsburgh Steelers, who would only speak to us under the guise of anonymity, has revealed to The Legend of Cecilio Guante that the Steelers franchise QB, Ben Roethlisberger, will use a 3 pm press conference this afternoon to announce to the world that he is a homosexual. The press conference was confirmed by one of our friends who works for a Pittsburgh television station, although he had no idea of the topic Big Ben had selected for his talk.
Roethlisberger signed an 8 year 102 million dollar deal (with $36 million guaranteed and a $25 million signing bonus) with the Steelers less than a month ago. The contract assures that he will be the face of the franchise for years to come.
While former Steelers QB's (mainly Kordell Stewart) have been accused of being gay by the Steelers rabid, blue collar fan base, Big Ben's announcement comes as a shocker. Ben's ruggedness and reckless behavior give him a macho persona. He's frequently seen in pictures with beautiful women (that must have been an elaborate cover up).
Drafted 11th overall in 2004, Roethlisberger was an instant hit with the Steelers, leading them to the AFC Championship game his rookie season, and winning the Super Bowl in his second year. Things got a little rocky after that.
Despite ample evidence of the dangers of motorcycle riding provided by division rival and fellow 2004 1st rounder Kellen Winslow II, Roethlisberger decided against wearing a helmet while on his bike, and almost paid for it with his life. On June 12, 2006, Ben flew over the handle bars of his bike and landed face first on a Chrysler New Yorker. Roethlisberger thankfully escaped with his life, but struggled throughout the 2006 season and the Steelers missed the playoffs. For the only time in his short career, Ben threw more interceptions than touchdowns.
Roethlisberger and the Steelers rebounded last season. The Steelers went 10-6 and Ben was selected to his first pro bowl.
Reactions to today's announcement will be interesting. Grumblings from the Steelers locker room have indicated that Ben is a prima donna and is treated with kid gloves by the organization. Will his Steelers teammates support Ben's lifestyle? Will the Steel City fans? How about the other players in the league? When former NBA player John Amaechi came out last February, there was a media frenzy. How will NFL'ers handle this? Will there be any Tim Hardaway type comments?
Our source tells us that Ben was '"outted" by locker room employees who noticed that the QB was constantly on the computer surfing the web for Steely McBeam material.
Happy April 1.
Labels:
April Fool's Day,
Ben Roethlisberger,
Browns
15 comments:
I don't know why you are acting like this is an April Fools Day joke? Everyone knows that 99% of the people in Shitsburg are gay.
Go Brownies!!!!!!!!!!!
Go Brownies?
Wait, who's QB was that in the photo that was posted all over the internet several months ago with his hand on another man's junk? The same QB dressed up and dancing as one of the Village People at his sister's wedding?
Oh that's right, the Browns Brady Quinn!
Well, if you can't beat them, accuse their million dollar QB of being a homo...just means Brwons got beat by a homo.
Or..the million dollar QB who whips the Browns every year-twice for good measure.
Understandable why you have time to make these things up. Off season seems to come very quick for the Browns-every year. Must get old for the players..watching the playoffs year after year from their couch. Least it does allow players to let their "real"side show..the Quinn "Village People" photo shoot was spectacular. I am sure Ben is totally jealous..while he inks a $102 mill. dollar deal..Quinn gets to be one of the "Village People"..yep..Ben is really hurtin' over that.
Of course. Brady looked pretty comfy and at home in that outfit..hmmm???
Fans of the Black and Canary Yellow, you are amusing, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Was it as good for you as it was for me?
See you, Omar Epps, the girlfriend beater who wasn't cut, Steely McBeam and what's left of your offensive line in the fall.
Wow, humor is obviously not your strong point there, Erie - in your story or your post!
All together now, led by BQ it's fun to stay at the ..."Y...M...C...A"
Don't worry, you'll see the rest of the Browns' Beatin' Steelers in the fall, too!
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So what you're saying is, "here we go Steelers?" Not very economical with your words, but I guess that's a writing style based decision you made.
Erie's Scribe-you're right, our offensive line is definitely in need of some work. But, even so, they have played well enough to take down the Browns year after year. Gee, wonder how bad the beating will be if the Steelers do improve the line..bye bye Brownies. Our QB, mixed with an effective O-Line= same results as before-VICTORY over the Browns.
Beating the Browns that were lost until Savage/Crennel started righting the ship didn't take too much. But the Browns are returning every offensive starter from last year's 10-6 team, and have overhauled their god awful defensive line. I'm confident that this will help their D a ton.
I'm skeptical about the Steelers O-line. Faneca isn't in his prime anymore, but I still don't see any guards on the roster as good as him. Who is going to play the other guard spot? What about right tackle?
quick what is the browns record agaist the steelers going back the last fifteen meetings.....answer 1-15.
quick how long has it been since the browns won a playoff game......19 years.
trash talking the steelers from a place like clevetown makes no sense, the steelers own the browns. trash talking the steelers from boston is slightly more credible.
"quick what is the browns record agaist the steelers going back the last fifteen meetings.....answer 1-15. "
So going back the last 15 games they are 1-15...how's the 1st grade math working out for you? No need to smack Steelers fans, they do it themselves.
Don't forget about the illiteracy epidemic in shitsburgh, they write almost as well as they add..."quick what is the browns record agaist the steelers going back the last fifteen meetings.....answer 1-15. "
I know yin people down er have yir own dialect but I doubt agaist is part of it. I agree with the lack of capitalization for the squeelers, but "Browns" should be capitalized.
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