Damn You ESPN and Your Ridiculous McNair Teasers!

Air McNair Should Not Fly into the Hall

In journalism, it's called a "teaser." It's intended to grab your attention and keep you waiting for the big climax. More specifically, it can be defined as:

A television strategy for attracting the audience's attention and holding it over a span of time. Typically a teaser consists of auditory or visual information, or both, providing the viewer a glimpse of what he or she can expect as programing continues. Teasers are used in several types of programming.

ESPN falls within the "several types of programming" category, and SportsCenter is a slave to the teaser. Don't get us wrong, it works. They slowly reveal piece by sexy piece of a story showing you just enough skin that it's impossible to change the channel, despite knowing it's going to take another 35 minutes before the news equivalent of gratuitous nudity.

However, today, what's bothering me is the other kind of teaser strategy ESPN is seemingly employing more frequently. I refer to this as the "are-you-f-in-kidding-me" style teaser. The philosophy behind this type of ESPN tease appears to be to say something so ridiculous that is pisses off the educated fan/viewer to such an extent that they are compelled to continue watching if for no other reason than to have ammunition to later rant on the topic, network or both (see example, uh, this post).

Last night, the tease in question made reference to Steve McNair's retirement and then - hold, hold - one of those leading "is he a Hall of Famer" throw-ins that made me roll my eyes and curse ESPN. Oh yes, and also claim "are-you-f-in-kidding-me." Of course, they had me at Hall. They had me at Hall...

Maybe I should take a closer look at his stats/career, but this is another one of those situations where you know it when you see it regardless of what the numbers say. And Steve McNair is not a Hall of Famer. Very good quarterback in his prime? Sure. Commendable approach to the game and ability to play through injury? Of course. An on-field leader who commanded respect and brought the best out of teammates? I would tend to agree. But, even talking about Canton and McNair is just ESPN sensationalism at its best. Those bastards got me again.

Without spiraling uncontrollably into a thesis statement-length post, here's all you really need to remember. The Professional Hall of Fame honors "individuals who have made outstanding contributions to professional football." Now, if this was Springfield, and we were factoring in his Alcorn State Days, perhaps there would be a little bit more of an argument. But Canton is focused on what you did in the NFL, sideline to sideline. So, when looking at a modern-era quarterback, there's really only one logical thing to do. Compare.

Modern Era: Quarterbacks (23)
Troy Aikman 1989-2000 George Blanda (Also PK) 1949-1958, 1960-1975 Terry Bradshaw 1970-1983 Len Dawson 1957-1975 John Elway 1983-1998 Dan Fouts 1973-1987 Otto Graham 1946-1955 Bob Griese 1967-1980 Sonny Jurgensen 1957-1974 Jim Kelly 1986-1996 Bobby Layne 1948-1962 Dan Marino 1983-1999	Joe Montana 1979-1994 Warren Moon 1984-2000 Joe Namath 1965-1977 Bart Starr 1956-1971 Roger Staubach 1969-1979 Fran Tarkenton 1961-1978 Y.A. Tittle 1948-1964 Johnny Unitas 1956-1973 Norm Van Brocklin 1949-1960 Bob Waterfield 1945-1952 Steve Young 1985-1999

And with that, we hope we never hear about this Steve McNair Hall of Fame nonsense again.