LaRon Landry: Another Victim of the Wussification of American Sports
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
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LaRon Landry,
Washington Redskins
"I Wonder if He Hurt Him? That's Against the Rules, You Know..."I've had it with the wussification of American sports. It makes me so angry I almost want to change the letter of that "w" word for this post...but we'll continue to stay PG and play it Naughty-by-Nature style and let our unrestricted friends run with it.
What exactly is the !ussification of American sports about, you ask? It's an epidemic for one thing...and it extends way beyond sports. To be more specific, it's the slow, creeping sentiment of overall weakness that seems to be permeating our society, almost cementing a future generation of gigantic &ussies.
It's the banning of dodgeball from schools districts across the country because it's "too violent." Or my all-time favorite, the movement to eliminate the use of red ink from paper-grading in elementary schools. Red being all "intimidating" and what-not to our fragile youth. It's the same phenomenon that has our bosses in the professional world forcing us to adjust our review scores up for the crappiest of crappy-ass employees, so as not to hurt their big boy or girl feelings. In a word, it's horseshit.
But surely our bastion of alpha-maleness...our mecca to all things primitive, physical and brutal is safe, right? It's one thing to talk about violence on the grade-school playground, but between the hashmarks violence is symbolic of the game at its purest. Right? Wrong. After reading about the latest suspension of Washington Redskins safety LaRon Landry from the folks over at Hogs Haven, I decided it was time to break the silence. Does anyone else think this is ridiculous? I feel like yelling Dan Hawkins style...THIS IS FOOTBALL! IT'S THE NFL! IT AIN'T TWO-HAND TOUCH! GO PLAY INTRAMURALS, BROTHER...
Seriously, how many times do you hear current and former football players talking about one of their main objectives being trying to knock the opponent out of the game? It's what makes football...football...and not golf. It's why so many poeple watch. It's a contact sport. It's simple and violent. That's why players wear a whole bunch of pads. They also are provided with helmets, which occassionally make contact with other individuals on the field. Given that they're attached to players heads and all.
I wish I had the actual quote in front of me, but the commentators last night on MNF referenced words from Steelers coach Mike Tomlin about how his teams need to be more "violent" than their opponents. Amen! It was refreshing to hear someone use that language.
But, unfortunately, the NFL now makes players take out their laundry, and/or their checkbooks, for lighting a quarterback up...or separating ball from receiver too violently...or rubbing up against a punter's foot. I can't stand it. It's getting to the point where every lights out hit causes us, as fans,to hesitate before getting excited. Because you're already anticipating the yellow flag making an appearance.
Maybe defensive coordinators should start changing their instructions..."Now, go after them...hit them as hard as you can...just make sure to use only your shoulder...and don't hit them above their shoulders...or at or below the knees...or more than a millisecond after the ball has been released...or if the ball has fluttered more than an inch away from the receiver...and don't clothesline them or anything because, well, because that just looks bad..."
To be fair, it's not just football. There's no such thing as a legal hard foul in the NBA anymore. Instead we get flagrants (with numbers!), free throws and suspensions. Nor can you throw the ball anywhere near someone on the diamond without a hair-trigger warning to both benches and a call from the conduct police.
And no I'm not for paralyzed players, unnecessary concussions and gratuitious violence...but there's a point where we just need to get over ourselves a bit. It is FOOTBALL FOR GOODNESS SAKE. But since this awakening looks unlikely to ever occur, who knows what other wonders await us. Maybe by the time I have kids, the NFL will have all its teams wearing purple. After all, "purple stands out, but it doesn't look as scary as red."
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5 comments:
You, sir, are doing the Lord's work.
What's the career track for becoming NFL commissioner? Because when I get the job, things are going to change!
Can I add the "force out" rule with WR's to this? If they can't get their feet down inbounds regardless of what happens then it's not a catch... damnit!!
I thought basketball was a non-contact sport?
Since Cecilio's Scribe is out on a little R&R trip I'll chime in on his behalf. I don't know if it's the Lord's work here, but I'm glad he said something. Enough is enough. Sports are tough, we play and watch them because they're tough.
As far as hoops, don't tell Bill Lambeer or Charles Oakley that it's not a contact sport.
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