Aloha Mr. Hand! Pac-10 Football Is Gnarly

Let's Party Pac-10. Tomorrow's just another beautiful day by the Pacific

Cowabunga dudes, I've been laid up from a freak half-pipe accident I had when the breaks were beat. Total bummer. So I've got all this time and I just started bloggin' and stuff. It kind of eats it, man. So I was looking up some pics of Daisy Fuentes to help my lack of babes problem I've got while I'm down and out in the cabana here, and I ended up on this Cecilio Guante thing here. Whoa dude, whoa. So I start reading all these pissed off dudes talking about college football, talking about the ACC, Big East, Big Ten and Big Twelve. Chill out, buds. And what's up with the Big Ten anyway? Am I that doused or are there 11 teams in there? I even looked it up man, the Big 12 has twelve teams and the Pac-10 has ten teams. Couldn't they just call it the Big 11?

So, with all this time on my hands I figured out that the Pac-10 are all the teams out here, and they all rock. It's so awesome. Like the USC guys and the dude they have in that battle gear riding that horse around. Who knew that there was another USC besides the University of South Central? Dude, they're like right up the road from the cabana. Turns out they won the national championship 2 years ago and were number #1 in the AP Poll 3 years ago. #1 in the AP (Awesome Party?) poll sounds cool, I'd take that over the BCS (Bogus Championship Series?) any day. Anyway, they're like, pretty good. I guess they're ranked first in the beginning of every season because they have like all of the best athletes. How bitchin' is that? And that quarterback guy who dated Paris went there. Dude knows what's up.

So it turns out, that the USC guys aren't the only ballers out here on the Left Coast. Like the Oregon Ducks. QUACK QUACK QUACK. They've got this quarterback dude who is awesome at throwing the ball and at running the ball. They're #2 in that BCS thing. And I heard this ESPN Cow Herder guy today on the radio saying how like the number 2 team is completely going to romp the LSU guys in the big game because the LSU coach is going to go to Michigan after the Michigan guy resigns because he's going to lose to Ohio State. Far out.

And they beat the dudes with the coolest mascot ever last week, the Sun Devils from down in Arizona somewhere. These Sun Devils are number 8 in the BCS thing, which I think is good. I heard some other guy talking about how they need an 8 team playoff in college football, and if they had it, then the Sun Devils would be in, and that probably means they're pretty good. By the way, what's the deal with this BCS thing? How come Division I-AA, II, and III all have playoffs like the NFL to decide their champion? Do they have different class schedules than Division I schools or something? This seems stupid.

So I guess the teams from Oregon State, UCLA and Cal are usually pretty cool too, but they're all paddling around in circles right now. I guess it's tough when you have to play all the teams in your conference every year. You know, like in the Pac-10 you have to play every team, every year. So like, you never get the chance to duck USC or Oregon or Cal or any team that happens to be dominant that year. I don't think any of the other conferences do that. Wait, UCLA is close to the cabana also! And, Cal is in Berkeley. I love Berkeley, I've got this cousin there that.....

Even those guys from Stanford seem kind of cool. Their coach is called "Captain Comeback." Righteous nickname! And I think they beat the USC guys, so they must be able to do something right. I don't know much about like Arizona or Washington or Washington State, but I think that Washington has some of those national championships that all those pissed guys from the other conferences were talking about.

That's all for me, I hope all those crazy dudes have chilled out and can just enjoy the ride out here. I'll be by the pool catching some rays and enjoying some R&R while I heal up if you need me. Catch you on the flipside dudemiesters, not!!!

--Live4H2O