Professor Isiah, The B Word and the Saga Continues
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
"Now, if I was to call you a dumb honkie, that'd be OK. Ya see?"The brilliance of Isiah Thomas shined through again today as news sources described his ruminations on the word b*&ch. While this entire saga could not be more entertaining, the question that remains is how in the world did anyone with any knowledge of Isiah and this organization let this thing ever come near a courtroom. Actually, with Isiah, anything is possible...
Months ago in the executive offices of Madison Square Garden...
Smart Advisor (who was apparently absent before this trial began): Isiah, it is my my sincere belief that we should try to settle this matter out of court. The negatives far outweigh the positives, here. This could be a PR nightmare for you, the Garden and the New York Knicks franchise.
Isiah: How much is she asking for again?
Advisor: $10M, sir.
Isiah: Nah, f that black b*#ch.
Advisor: Isiah, this is going to get ugly. She's going to bring out all sorts of dirt. It will further tarnish your reputation. There's no good that can come out of this. We can settle for half of the amount she's asking and this will be a blip on the radar and then gone.
Isiah: $300K. That's it. And what are you implying about my reputation?
Advisor: $300K?! Isiah, let's be rational here. This is not going to end well. Plus, all sorts of folks are going to be dragged along into this. Heck, there are even players on the scheduled list of witnesses for the prosecution. We need to make a real offer and make this go away -- quietly.
Isiah: Players!? Like who?
Advisor: Well, Stephon for one.
Isiah: Stephon? For real?
Advisor: Yes, sir.
Isiah: Stephon's my boy! We in this thing together, then. No way some crazy black b&%ch is going to take us to the cleaners. What are they going to try to dig up on Stephon?
Advisor: I'm not quite sure Isiah, but, apparently, there are rumors that he wooed an intern into his truck for sex.
Isiah: And???
Advisor: Well, the prosecution is going to take this opportunity to insinuate that this behavior is a reflection of the prevailing attitude of this organization.
Isiah: Well, they damn well better. That's why I love Stephon. He's fearless. He takes charge. That kid sees an opening and he takes it to the hole strong. He's going to take this team to the promised land.
Advisor (incredulous): Ummm...Isiah, I implore you to consider that a few million to settle this thing is a worthwhile investment.
Isiah: A few million? We don't just throw around money in this organization. Especially not on some bogus case like this.
Advisor: Isiah, we gave $29M to Jerome James.
Isiah (in perfect post-game press conference voice): Jerome's been good for us. He's solid. Gives us some good minutes in the middle. He changes things on the defensive end.
Advisor: This matter needs to go away for the sake of the team, the organization and the fans.
Isiah: Fans? Like I give a rat's ass about all those rich white folk. Let's do this thing. We're going to show this b&#ch who's boss.
Advisor (defeated): This is going to end poorly...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment