Michigan Fans Get a Chance to Relive the Misery

How 'Bout an Hour-Long Special to Rekindle Those Fond Memories?

Dear Michigan Wolverines Alumni & Fans:

We are proud to present your worst nightmare. That's right all you Maize-and-Blue devotees, SportSouth has managed to take that swift kick in the nether region that you received in your history-making defeat to Appalachian St. and intensify the pain...substantially. Indulge your imagination for a moment...picture that painful memory of the blocked field goal, only relivable through ESPN's incessant highlights and, maybe (if you're lucky) as a nominee at next year's ESPY award for "game of the year." Now, picture someone has it all on film. The pre-game speeches, on-field action, post-game locker room celebration. Even worse, maybe it's a professionally-made documentary? Ohhh, the horror! Can you even imagine??

Luckily, there is no need to imagine. By one of those strange, inexplicable twists of fate, the SportSouth network just happened to be filming it all as part of a program orignally slated for a half-hour and entitled: "Under the Lights: Appalachian State football — Date with Destiny.” I sh*t you not.

Now, fans can experience two-a-days and everything leading up to, during and following the Mountaineers embarrasment of Michigan. SportSouth will air the first showing of the now hour-long special at 10 p.m. this Saturday across its network, one that covers six southeastern states. Fortunately, for those in the Midwest and other regions, "subsequent showings will follow on SportSouth, FSN and likely the Big Ten Network" (according to this week's Sports Business Journal). Oh happy days! I can already see the Buckeye faithful racing to their DVRs.

The biggest upset in college football history. A strong kick to the groin. A documentary-style tribute that outlines the path to that very humiliation. A UFC-style assault to the genitalia. But a DVD to commemorate it all for eternity? “It’s on the drawing board...I don’t think we’d have trouble selling it,” said SportSouth general manager Jeff Genthner. Priceless.

Personally, as an NFL Films addict, Hard Knocks devotee, and one of those psychos who actually watched MTV's "Two-a-Days" because he couldn't keep himself from seeing "behind-the-scenes" "real" footage (pro, college or Hoover High School), I'm extremely disappointed I won't be able to check this out.

Fortunately for me, and interested parties around the world, I have little doubt the wonders of modern-day technology will somehow find a way to give us all a sneak peek...and a chance for Michigan fans everywhere to truly experience the emotion associated with their defeat. Again. And again.

In all seriousness Michigan, we do feel bad. But look on the bright side, everything could change this Saturday when you play Oregon. You're home. In The Big House. A real Pac 10 opponent. One convincing win and everyone will forget about this little "freak incident."

Oh wait...

Pleasant viewing,

The Legend of Cecilio Guante

Editor's Note: I really don't have any deep-seated hatred of the Michigan Wolverines or their football team. But you have to admit, the fact that a big sports network that has used schools like Wake Forest, North Carolina and the Florida Gators as the subjects for their "Under the Lights" program chose to follow I-AA App. St., and just happened to capture the prelude and postcript to the biggest college football upset in history, is pretty funny. Well, maybe not if you're a UM fan.

posted at 7:44 PM