Hello! Do You Know Us? We're a Major League Baseball Team...

Name These Four Rockies. Ready, go.

Hello! Do you know us? We're a major league baseball team...but because we haven't been to the playoffs in over a decade...nobody recognizes us...not even in our own hometown.

Hopefully, Holliday and crew have the American Express card to help them get into their favorite hotels and restaurant-type places, because (snap) they're contenders now.

Yup. The Mile High Kids have managed to string together 10 straight (and leading tonight early) and simply refuse to go away in the NL playoff race. Which begs the question? Who the hell are these guys?

At first, I thought the calendar above must have been created to be some sort of cruel optical trick. Or the editor of the calendar was suffering from the effects of some serious mind-altering drugs. For one, according to the current Rockies roster, LaTroy Hawkins is #32, which wouldn't be a problem...except for the fact that last time I checked I could have sworn LaTroy was an African-American relief pitcher. Apparently, he still is. Ah yes, the pitcher pictured above is previous Rockies ace Jason Jennings. Luckily for Colorado he was traded before throwing a pitch for the Rockies this year and spent his season in Houston where he's compiled an impressive 2-9 record this season. Astros fans must have enjoyed his performances immensely.

OK, so outside of Helton and Jennings who are the remaining two studs on the calendar shoot? According to the Rockies listed active roster, that would be Seth Smith (who has had all of five at-bats this season) and Brad Hawpe. Now, Hawpe and Helton are excusable...and Jennings, sad as it may be, had been an ace for this team in years past. But...hello! MacFly...ever think of maybe throwing that guy Holliday on the ole' cover shoot? I mean he was pretty good in 2006, too. But what do I know...

Anyway, if you had to do the whole calendar thing all over today, I'd probably throw Holliday on there with Tulowitzki, Helton (face of the franchise) and their ace. You know him right? C'mon. Jeff...sounds like...riiight. The ace of the Colorado Rockies staff is Jeff Francis. He's 17-8 with a decent ERA considering his home park. Before today, I couldn't have named him if you'd given me a $1M, and I consider myself a very serious baseball fan...and a National League fan at that. For some reason, I can't get over this fact.

With the Rockies winning again in Hollywood and the Mets having stayed at home another night (as opposed to coming to Shea), I've adopted Colorado as my surrogate team. Should the Metros complete their landmark collapse, the Rockies are the team I'd like to see make a run in the postseason. Just because...well, people probably don't even recognize them...even in their own hometown.